Thank You Series - Episode 2

A good measure of maturity is to remind yourself the prejudices and notions of childhood. I had my own set of those.

· Fair people always had a good first impression. I don’t exactly think it logically makes sense now but back then when I was a school kid, I did like to hang around fair people. I admit.

· I also had this notion that “North Indians” are fairer than “South Indians”. And what did North mean to me? Anything North of Karnataka where people can speak Hindi.

· Tenants need to respect the landlords more than vice versa. May be this got imbibed because my parents always made sure they showed some extra respect for the landlords.

Ranju

When I think back now, I don’t hold any of these notions now. But it is nice to remember the lady who shattered all the notions right when I was in the seventh class. That was when I got the opportunity to be the landlord’s daughter for the first time. I was all excited about it. I did rehearse the first few lines I would speak when they would come home the first time. To add to my excitement, my father had told me that they were Hindi speaking north Indians. Now that increased my expectations of “fair” complexion and also the pride of being a KV student who could converse well in Hindi. I remember the day August 1^st, 1996 when the family first landed at out place.

A journey started off from that day – a journey that left such a lasting impression on me that I would never forget that family, especially the lady of the house- Ranju Aunty. First is always special as they say. The first time I met her – my expectations of fair complexion was shattered. I came back home and told my mom. –“She is not North Indian. She is not fair.” Little did I know while cribbing that she would be one woman who would come close to my mom in terms of how much I would love her? As days passed she did win all our hearts. Not only my family but the whole colony used to love her.

What set her apart was her cheerfulness while talking to people of any age-right from a kid to a 70 year old man. The genuine concern that showed up while she enquired – “how are you?” We do ask thousands of people on a daily basis the formal question – “How are you doing?” But how many of those do we really mean? How many times would we call them home and serve dinner if they said they were hungry? But she would. She really meant that trivial question. She was ready to help people any time in any situation which was one of the outstanding qualities that attracted people to her.

I don’t know how many times I have stayed back at her house not missing my parents. To reiterate how much of a big deal that is, there has never been a place other than her house where I have not missed my parents. I still remember the way she used to feed her little son and me the same way saying “Kha goda Kha. Khaye bina mein tumhe jane nahi de rahi”. Probably that was when I put up those few kilos :P She was a great company for anything – Chatting over Chai, watching a movie, cooking. Literally anything. Those 2 years of my life were the most fun-filled ones. There are no words to explain how much of a help she had been to my mom. More than a sister, More than a mother.

Finally when the day for her to leave to go back to “North India” arrived, I could not speak. But my tears did. It has been 12 years since that day now and I still miss you aunty. You were a magic that never fades.

One year of married life

One year is a long enough period to be important. To list out all the important years of my life

• The first year of my life which I don't remember but that does not take away its importance.
• The year I experienced school for the first time.
• Year spent preparing for the important exams of 10th ,12th and entrances.
• First year of job.
• First year of marriage.

Of all these, I bet the first year of marriage has been the one that has had a sea-change in my way of life, my outlook, my behavior, my attitude and to put it in two words- My life. So here goes lessons learnt in Marriage 101. That is how courses were named in my Engineering.

1. You will see new faces of the person you think you know. Take it as a learning rather than -"Oh I did not expect this". Marriage is full of surprises. Expect the Unexpected.
2. You are watched. Your independence and personal space shrinks. Take it as a blessing that you have someone to share every bit of your space rather than -"Oh God, I am suffocated." The more you share the space, the more you get as it easier to make someone realize your needs when you share and know each other well than laying down conditions and cribbing.
3. Formalities are bound to be there. You need to smile without reason, you need to enquire about well being even if you are not bothered, you need to act as expected. Take this as -" Free lessons to corporate world" than "Oh why do I need to do all this".
4. If you thought you were busy, you will only be busier. Clock ticks off with 50% work done. Take this as "Lessons in Time Management" than "Oh God I have time for nothing". Gradually you will get used to the busy schedule and steal your moments out of it.
5. Friends are seen more in Phonebook and Facebook than face to face. Take this as a test of strong and true friendship than " It is so bad that I dont get to meet my friends so often." True friends will always understand and stay with you. Moreover your spouse is a friend for life.
   
6. Your home is not yours anymore. This is probably the hardest facts to digest. You become a guest in the same place where you were born and brought up. Meeting your family becomes moments to steal than demand as a right. Slowly you realise that a half an hour spent with them was never enjoyed so much before. You value your people and the time with them more than anytime before in your life. Take this as "Realising the value of people" than "How dare someone can expect me not to meet my own people whenever I want!"
   
7. Your spouse comes before "Yes" to question. Whether it is a party,movie or even an official meeting. Take this as "An invisible hand regularizing your life" than "Oh I could not say yes on my own."

All said and done, Marriage is one of the most beautiful things to happen in ones life. It makes you less selfish and more giving. It makes you care and feel cared. It makes you feel important. It makes you more responsible and planned. It makes you more knowledgeable about human psychology. You are gifted for a life time a shoulder to lean on, hand to hold and trod the path of life, heart to live in and one whole person who is totally yours. Any other relationship in the world has the distinction of "You and me". This is one relationship where the distinction slowly fades into thin air.

God, Thank you for the life you have given me. I wait for more blessings that come with marriage in many more disguised forms.

Timeless in Tokyo

Tokyo - I had heard about the movie "Love in Tokyo" but never`watched it. I did not know that I would land up in Tokyo before watching the movie. I thought watching the movie was easier and more likely. Yet I am here now. When I joined my job, my superiors had a misconception that I don't like traveling. They claim I told so in the interview. Anyways 2 years passed without me traveling anywhere out of India and now I am here in Tokyo. I have seen people writing travelogues describing the place. But I am not good at that. I would probably pen down what I felt at the place.

Where do I start? I felt so many things that cannot form a coherent paragraph. A set of disconnected lines will do.

Awe of witnessing an organized, well planned city touching the sky when a day before I was stuck for 2 hours in Bangalore Traffic and chaos

Wonder at the way people walk in lines like machines over here.

Pity for the monotony in the lives here.

Surprise to see arrows and boards everywhere telling u where to go and how to walk. There are arrows on staircase and pavement as well.

Embarrassment when I was pointed out by someone that I am standing on the right side on the elevator and I am not supposed to. It leads to jam. I am not supposed to hold a visiting card in one hand. Not supposed to pay the bill by keeping the money on the table rather than the tray meant for it. Apparently people at Osaka stand on the left of the elevator because they are rivals of Tokyo. Now I dont know what to feel for that!

Feel of Freedom when I walk alone singing and dancing to songs on ipod on the street slipping into just anything I catch hold of without bothering about who is commenting on me. I don't know anyone!

Excitement to take a picture of every small damn thing I see and narrate the story to folks back home.

Thrill of shopping gifts for the loved ones from TOKYO and imagine the happiness I would get to see.

Fascination to see the electronics I saw in the showroom back in Bangalore stand as tall buildings all around.

Disbelief to find myself in Starbucks when I am reading the book "How Starbucks Saved my Life" by Michael Gill.

Memories of Bollywood movies when I sip hot coffee and walk on the street at 0 degrees singing a song.

Fear of getting stuck between the doors of the high speed trains. I know there are sensors, but what if they fail!

Amazed to see the love for Japanese in the Japanese when it comes to talking, boards, bills, books. In short everything and anything. Come on, at least the currency coin should have a number on it! Either they hate English or love Japanese too much.

Joy to see an Indian Veg Restaurant to feed this hungry Veggie in Tokyo.

Fulfillment when the client acknowledged the meeting was useful in his Japanese style by bowing.

Feeling the smallness and the greatness of mankind simultaneously when I stood next to the Tokyo Tower.

Gratitude for the politeness of the Japanese I interacted with for making my stay comfortable.

Pride of visiting a wax museum though I am not talking about the Madame Tussauds in London.

Child-like satisfaction after watching a Japanese 3-D animation and the dolphins dance live.

That

makes it 19 different feelings. If 20 is a good round number, the one I had saved for last is

Urge to go back to India.

How much ever I see the world, whatever I enjoy, whatever good my mind finds in the other places, at the end of the day I would always like to be back home. Either I have got used to the imperfections in India or it has become such an inherent part of my life that perfection makes me feel out of place :)

"Apne sadak ke kone me apnon ke saath pani puri khane me jo mazaa rakha hai us ke liye aise kitne bhi posts kaafi nahi."

Love
Goda

PS: If you are still wondering why the title is Timeless in Tokyo, I left my watch back in India. My cell was drained out of battery and did not work here. So I had no idea of time yet managed my days. But as a tip, leaving ur mobile and watch in the trash for a day allows u to feel the life without pressure.

Moments to Steal

• First sip of coffee in the morning with Newspaper
• Chirping of birds in morning silence with the coolness of dewdrops
• First bite of food when you are infinitely hungry
• Entering the last number in a Sudoku
• Eating an icecream when there is noone around to remind you about diet
• Sudden plan for a movie
• Noticing purple flowers in the office campus one fine day when u look up and away from the security and vehicles
• The long night before a holiday
• Finding time for a stroll in a busy day
• Waking up after a wonderful dream
• Playing your favorite song on ipod
• Unexpected call or mail from a friend
• Manager on Leave

Who is the kid?

"Ladies and Gentlemen. For security reasons passengers are requested to bring to the notification of the airport security any unclaimed baggage" announced the akashvani at the Bengaluru International Airport. A lady with streaks of grey hair hiding the wrinkles on her forehead and heavy woolen sweater protecting her from the chill of 4 30 AM in Bengaluru sat on the bench with a basket. A basket full of stuff typical of South Indian outing - A coffee flask, a small tiffin box with upma in it, a napkin and a water bottle. She was neither aware of the eat-outs at the airport nor could figure out what the announcement meant. She asked her husband in Kannada innocently.

"What are they saying ? Are they saying our daughter's flight has come?"

"No. They are saying that now a days it is very insecure out here as terrorists attack any place. So we should be careful."

"Oh My God. I should have lighted the lamp at home and done the Pooja at home before leaving. You said we dont have time even to take bath and come."

"Of course. You were bent upon preparing the breakfast and then leaving. Now lets just wait. I am already tensed till I see my daughter. Don't talk all this now."

She remained silent as she could understand his restlessness. The clock ticked by and an hour passed. It was the time for the arrival of BA 119 in which their daughter was coming. It was delayed by 20 min. The anxious father kept moving to the display board and back to the bench again and again. His feeble eye-sight would not allow him to check the status sitting on the bench. She could not wait longer and she started her questions again.

"What did you see?"

"The flight is going to come soon."

"Can we see the flight when it comes?"

"No, it will come on the other side of this building. We wont be able to see it. But they will write it on the board when it comes."

"Oh. What about all the luggage. She has to bring it from the other side of the building till here. How do they get down from the plane? Kids are also coming. How will she manage?"

"Even I am worried. But they will give her luggage only later is what she told. Then she can get it on those trolleys we saw others going with sometime back. They put some ladder for her to get down."

"Good they have some facility like that. But what if they don't give her the right luggage?"

"I think they will give. She asked us not to worry"

As soon as the display showed - "ARRIVED", he called his wife - "Come soon. The flight has come." She juggled the basket, umbrella and the small purse that had the cash to start running towards the arrival gate. A young girl of 25 sitting next to her waiting for the same flight interrupted and said -"It will take time for them to come out. Immigration and customs formalities will be there." The terms did not make an iota of sense to the lady. Probably she heard those terms for the first time. She gave a smile acknowledging that she heard the girl but continued her sprint.

Among the crowd holding placards at the arrival gate were these old couple with their eager sight hooked on to the farthest point they could see through the glass doors. There was no sight of any passenger till 20 min. But neither the eagerness nor the strength to stand there decreased. Finally after 40 min, the lady exclaimed - "I can see the kids. Bend down here. You can also see their legs." The old man tried to bend down to get a glimpse. It did not occur to him that it is a matter fo 5 mins that they will be standing right in front of him. It was the joyous moment they had been waiting for. Every second from then was like an year. The last few seconds had them slowly sneaking into the area reserved for passengers to hug the kids and their daughter.

There were smiles and there were tears. For anyone who would have observed them for those 2 hours, it was tough to say that the separation was only 3 months and that their daughter is a 30 year old software Engineer who has roamed the world. For parents, it does not matter, does it? For they don't see a difference between the two kids who ran to them at the gate and their daughter who walked slowly towards them. She always remains a kid to them even if they have to figure out the technological world like a kid trying to learn new things.