The Beautiful 90s

“India Shining” and ”Technology at its best” hit the headlines periodically to distract us from 2G/CWG and Gurujis but all said and done, I think the technological improvements, the era of internet and social networking and the mall shopping hullaballoo has taken away some moments of our “lives” that are worth living. I am not saying technology is not important, of course it is. How else would I be expressing myself on this platform today! I am not a big fan of 60s and 70s either when people had to struggle to go to primary school. I consider myself lucky to be born in the 80s to enjoy my childhood in the 90s.
I must say 90s had an extraordinary charm, warmth, enthusiasm and excitement which is missing now and I am sure would have been missing earlier too. I can make this comment based on the picture of life then I have got from my parents and other elder people I have spoken to. Partly we can say liberalization brought some comforts and improved the pace of progress from the 80s to make us happy. Thanks to PVN and MMS for that! We had best of both the worlds during my childhood where we had not moved too far away from the humanness that exists when we are not crowded with machines. At the same time we had the comforts of modern India. Now when I sit to think how our lives have changed in the past 15 years, it is exponential. When I think of it some make me smile, some bring a tear and some make me say “WTH”.
If we consider a 24 hour window and keep a count of number of people we meet and talk to and the number of machines we see, what do you think would rank higher? The computers, the cars and bikes, the TV, the phone, the tablets and what not. We see people more on TV, Websites and pictures than in real.
There was a time when we used to have enough time to talk with family, friends, teachers, relatives. Thanks to the power cuts which made us sit idle and talk , play antakshari or even come out to the streets and socialize with neighbors. Now the UPS has taken away that too! For instance I don’t even know who stays behind the shut doors in my apartment complex. The 24 hours hasn’t changed over the years. It is we who have! Our priorities have!
There was a time when we knew what was for lunch at neighbor’s place. Now we are happy if we could cook lunch at our own home. Fresh vegetable vendors on streets are replaced by frozen ones in the fridge. Fresh hot tasty lunch is replaced by reheated dinner. Thanks to the purchasing power to own a fridge and a microwave as a necessity that was luxury at some point.
The thought of going to a movie or an amusement park would bring so much excitement in my school days. Now going to malls and movies is a weekend routine and anything in abundance loses its value. Rather I don’t remember when was the last time I was excited about something. Nothing is rare for us to wait eagerly for. Even cricket matches occur every week now.
There was a time when festivals meant good food, new clothes and lot of people. Now they are just “Holidays” to relax from the 24X7 running around. Sometimes they are even shifted to make them “Long weekends”.
There was a time when we received letters from relatives and cards from friends and phone calls on birthdays. But now, letters have turned into emails stores on some web servers. Cards have turned into facebook wall wishes and phone calls into template smses. No longer do you have to remember a friend’s birthday to wish. Even if you do, you would not be noticed among 1000s of people who might have automated it.
There was a time when we took snaps, made an album and shared them with family and friends in person pointing who is who, describing the location and telling stories behind the snaps. Now we can click them on and on till we exhaust the memory card and dump them on a hard drive. We do upload on facebook or picasa and let people make sense of it.
Small moments in life like having an ice cream, sharing a joke or an anecdote, playing with friends, chatting over tea and snacks, an evening walk that needs planning now happened so effortlessly those days that I did not know the value then. Now when I think of it spending hours in the traffic, I do feel something is missing in life. We make advertisements out of the missing moments to make business. We have definitely made progress. Just that our soul is left behind.
PS: Somethings never change. We still spend a lot on weddings :D

Fairness for the Fairer Sex

It was Janmashtami day when the whole household fasted waiting for Krishna's birth. "You need not fast ma" said her mother-in-law. "You are gonna be a mother very soon. The Lord Krishna in your womb should not starve." For a moment she wondered how on earth could her mom-in-law be so sure that it was Lord Krishna and not Goddess Lakshmi! Was it a guess or a wish? She would not bother much about a confident guess but a hidden wish could bother her a little. Soon the Pooja started after the Priest arrived. She prayed all the time for the arrival of her little one to be smooth without hurdles as she was damn scared of the dreaded delivery. After the pooja she was forced to exercise all the reluctant muscles of her body and bend over with the heavy weight to take the priests blessings. "Suputra Praptirastu" blessed the priest. She asked him why the blessing could not have been "Suputri praptirastu". The priest answered "I thought this would make you happy. If you want me to bless the other way, I would do that". Though "Suputri Praptrastu" would not have increased the "Dakshina" the priest would have got, it definitely made her think all over again as to how widespread the preference for a male child is in India. She had not given a thought when she had to answer questions on Female infanticide in her social studies exams for getting the highest marks in the class. But now she was indeed giving a serious thought.

Why would anyone want a male child instead of a female one? Is it the paternal system to blame where the parents are left with no one to rely on once the girl is married off? Or the multicrore marriage market where the parents have to spend all the earnings of their life on a day of hullabaloo? Or the rituals of Hinduism where the son is considered the sole owner of the right to set the pyre ablaze? Or the responsibility of protecting the white sheet of a girl's reputation from every black mark? Or the calculation of negative ROI on a girl's education and bringing up?

She could come up with counter arguments for every reason that is to be blamed. How many sons have stayed with parents till the end of life without moving out into nuclear families? What is the need to have a fancy wedding when all one needs is a marriage certificate to prove the marriage? Even if one needs to celebrate why cant both parties share the cost? Doesn't the daughter have strong enough hands to hold the funeral torch? Isn't the boy's reputation equally important for a girl to accept him? Cant the girl earn enough to take care of her parents in old age? But all these were just questions. At the end of the day she knew we haven't moved much further in India to answer these questions. Thanks to the randomness in nature. If everyone's wish to have a male child comes true, that would be the last generation in the world!

She remembered her friend at office sharing the happy news that she was expecting. - "Our daughter is three now. So we thought we could try again for a son. We went to Tirupati to offer prayers last week". She wondered - "Doesn't 22 years of education have any effect on the thought process? How long would these people try if the X chromosome triumphed every time? Isn't the risk more than reward for such people? Now I know how my friend at school had 3 sisters and a baby brother. This pattern is very common in Indian families where a set of girls is a followed by a boy." These realizations did not make her very comfortable but she moved on.

The day arrived when she held the little one in her arms and kissed "her". Yes the baby was a "Suputri". She was happy and sent an invite to her friends and relatives to celebrate the arrival of the new member of the family. There came her uncle with a dazzling gift in his hand. He looked at the baby and the baby smiled at him. He said - "DId you not have enough Saffron milk while you were carrying? She is not fair. You will have a tough time marryign her off." Her blood boiled to hear that comment and she retorted - " There is scientific evidence that saffron does not make any difference to baby's colour. If anything is responsible, it could be our genes and the genetic recombination. It could be you or your father or we can go back till Adam and Eve if you have enough time." His face turned red. Not that he was very fair for anyone to notice the redness. He left the place in fury. She did not bother to stop him. But she felt surprised about her new found strength to speak up. Thanks to her baby.

That night she thought lying on the bed - "Why this madness about fairness when nothing is fair about the fairer sex? Why the stress on marriage so early when the baby has just learnt to smile? Would there have been same comments if it was a boy?" She knew the answer. She looked at the little angel sleeping peacefully beside her unaware of the worldly complexities. She smiled with a tear in her eye. For the first time she wished that she had a boy. Not because of any of the reasons she knew about till that day but for the fact she knew that her girl would go through the Indian cycle of comments,comparison and unfairness. She brushed her tears away and decided with a strong resolve that she would protect her girl from all those people who wished she was a boy, from the ones who don't think she is fair or beautiful, from the ones who are reluctant to provide her the love she deserves, from all those who think "Girl is a liability". She would bring her up to be a confident woman who would break all myths.

When would that day come in India where foetal sex determination is no more a crime!

Disclaimer: All the characters in this post are are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.