Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

I still remember that day in my ninth class when there was hype for the release of Kuch kuch hota hai which had generated huge hopes in the audience of being a blockbuster. The fact that it turned out to be one is history now and of course any Karan johar movie now is expected to do the same. One thing you can be sure of finding in a Karan Johar movie is grandeur, lovely locations abroad, amazing costumes, some smiles and tears. This movie also falls into the same category and can be identified to be a Karan johar movie even by a person who does not know that it is one. The differences that you can find in this movie compared to the rest are the absence of a "sagaai " or a "karva chaut" song, a bold subject which is alien to the families that were seen in his earlier movies. It seems like Karan was experimenting to test the acceptance by audience in "kal ho na ho" by touching on issues of homosexuality subtly behind the facade of light comedy.

Gone are the days when the woman in the house was shown as sati savitri. The sense of independence that many women feel and want to feel now is nicely captured in this movie through the character of Rhea ( Preity Zinta ). It is a fresh change to see the heroine of the movie ( Rani Mukherji) listening to her heart and desires rather than having blind devotion to husband like she used to do spending years shedding tears or staying as a widow in the movies of 70s and 80s. The presence of three superstars of course adds more charm to the movie though the Bacchans who are portrayed as the cool dudes in the movie steal the show when pitted against a fussy and irritable character that is played by Shahrukh khan. Kiron kher who is present in almost every superhit movie now a days is given enough footage in the movie as the whole movie revolves only around these six people except for a few friendly appearances by other actors. Talking of such friendly appearances in a Karan Johar’s movie everyone in the audience knows that right from KKHH to KANK the trio of shahrukh, Rani and kajol has to be a part of the movie. Whoever among these does not play a lead role definitely appears in a song. And so did Kajol in a song that rocked the theatre with the Bacchans dancing for Rock n Roll. John Abraham and Arjun rampal have also made guest appearances in the movie which act as respite from the lead roles who are there throughout the movie.

The movie starts off with an introduction of the lead roles in a hyped manner which provides enough opportunity for the audience in the theatres to whistle clap and shout for their favorite actors and actresses. Especially the introduction of Shahrukh Khan goes on for about five minutes before he reveals his face fully. The FIFA Fever has not vanished yet and hence based on the time of release Karan Johar has made use of it to create waves of enthusiasm by introducing Shahrukh khan as the heroic football player. The first half of the movie moves at a good pace with both content and comedy. Abhishek Bacchan and Amitabh Bacchan fill the theatres with giggles through their crispy dialogues and cool attitude in the movie. We have come across Baby B doing that in many movies. But it is interesting to see Big B flirting with the fairer sex over a broad range of age from 20-60. Kiron Kher as usual comes across as a modern mummy with touches of her characteristic comedy. Preity Zinta who represents the independent, successful and career oriented gal has carried her role well though she has not got much of an opportunity to showcase her talents. Rani Mukherji has performed well as usual and Shahrukh khan’s performance also gives a clear picture of Dev Saran. While watching the movie you can’t crib about the performance of the actors and the actresses in the movie. Afterall all of them are well experienced and popular. Yet the feeling that the movie lacks something lingers on.

Though the movie has a storyline that is different from the ones that Johar and Chopras deal with, the screenplay does not live up to that. At certain points in the last few minutes, the pace of the movie lags behind. The background score typical of these movies that play the tune of one of the songs of the movie often makes it slow when the actors walk away from each other or look at each other for the first time. This is because they are shown doing these things in slow motion till the tune of at least two lines of the song plays in the background. The comedy scenes are not spread over the movie like they were in Kuch kuch hota hai or Kal ho na ho to keep the audience entertained. The last part of the movie seems slow and insipid due to lack of energy and enthusiasm. But whatever comedy scenes are present in the movie concentrated in the first half are very good. Especially, scenes of some confusion leading to dialogues with double entendre and attempts of Rani and Shahrukh to rekindle the romance in their lives which end up as fiasco. The character representation in the movie is one of the main points that make the movie less effective. The roles of Rani and Shahrukh seem repetitive and often remind you of roles that they played in Hum tum and Chalte Chalte respectively. Hence the freshness of the characters remains absent. The songs are a good mixture of both melody and energy. "Rock and Roll" as well as "Where’s the part tonight" are two songs that sweep you off your feet in a good DTS theatre. But the positioning of some songs like " Party song " and the title song are untimely with the former not going with the flow of the movie and the latter reducing the speed of the movie almost while nearing climax. The cinematography is commendable which has made every scene fit to be made as a poster. The scenes that show snowfall and dry leaves being carried by the wind remind you of some scenes from kal ho na ho.

The theme of the movie is pretty realistic as the same feelings that are experienced by Maya ( Rani Mukherji) in the movie can be experienced by many women of the married community. It is quite possible that the person to whom you get married may not be the one whom you can call your "soulmate". And what if you actually meet that kind of a person after marriage? That is a very possible thing to happen. How the relationships get strained and life changes is something that needs to be addressed to. But the strength in the topic is not found in the script. First of all there are not an instant in the movie that can make you actually feel that Dev is indeed the soulmate of Maya except for some common likes and dislikes. In fact, there are more instances of Maya being upset with Dev too which may diminish the difference between Rishi and Dev as far as Maya is concerned. Moreover the role description of Dev is not at all attractive which will probably make you question at some instant while watching the movie – "What is her problem in loving such a charming guy like Rishi ( Abhishek Bacchan ) ?" . This is because neither is Rishi portrayed strongly as someone whom Rani cannot be happy with or Dev as someone whom a married woman can get attracted to. It is understandable that Dev had to be shown as a failure which could create problems between him and Rhea. But looking at him limping throughout the movie with a long hair do that does not suit him often makes you crib about his appearance in the movie. To cut short the whole story and say in a few words, the presentation of the love between Maya and Dev is not convincing that makes us overlook the fact that it is extra-marital and wish that they should be together.

Some things that can be appreciated as different in the movie are twists like Rhea and Rishi deserting their respective partners when they learn of their affair; while you will be actually expecting them to forgive them and lead a happy life thereafter like ‘usual’ Hindi movies, Abhishek Bacchan announcing his marriage when you expect him to say "I cant live without you. Come back to me." Sudden death of Amitabh Bacchan and his advice to Maya to leave Rishi also seem unexpected.

Overall this movie can be rated as reasonably good for audience without much expectations of the hyped " Karan Johar Blockbuster" movies. It is a mixture of + and – points and what overtakes what depends on how much you believe in the theme as well as on how much you can relate to the characters in the movie.

Life as a teacher

Everyday we realise certain things as life is a persistent and continuous teacher....The classes of life are more ruthless than any dean or academic administration of a institution because there are no holidays for lessons of life....This blog is just like writing notes for todays lesson.....

Human psychology has emerged now as a stream of study for people dreaming of becomming " doctors "....both in the real sense of medical doctors and also pseudo doctors who earn a phD....But I guess psychology is not something that is taught only in educational institutions....we dont get exposed to psychology for the first time in the class room like we do probably to Newtons laws....It is something that is communicated without a medium....u grow up with parents and siblings and without verbal exchange u can easily make out what is running in their mind.....No one teaches us how to do that....It is just like how babies know to drink mother's milk without any training.....

Sometimes some people are very sensitive and sharp for whom the others' thought process seems pretty transparent....This may make them good psychologists...but if thats not their proffesion, it is a bane in disguise of virtue....Thats because there is lot of hypocrisy in this worls......countless number of liars and pretenders....If u r a dumb believer of what people have to tell u....there is no disturbance...because what people usually tell u is more likely to be sweet, polite and atleast sounds favourable....But if there was some x ray machine that could decode the thoughts in their mind all that is said above may be disproved....So if u have the ability to somehow feel what the person is thinking or what his intentions are instead of what ur ears r hearing...U will face a lot of disappointment.....

For example lets take a hypothetical situation where u r in some serious crisis and in need of some money...U approach the person whom u consider to be ur very close friend and ask for help....If u r insensitive to invisible thought waves u will probably believe the reason that ur friend politely gives...and the disappointment of not getting the money will be covered up by the care that ur friend shows using wonderful words ....But if u r sharp to know what is going on in ur friends mind while he is saying those things....U r doomed to double disappointment....

So it is better to move on with life without thinking about the mental chaos of other people.....and better be happy with the flowery descriptions that cover up thorny intentions....In both cases ur practical situation will be same but mentally u will be obviating some extra disturbances....

To be happy one needs to learn to let go of many things....Nobody likes to be answerable to someone...and no one is answerable to u....no matter whether u think they r or not....so unless u let go of it....it will linger on only in ur mind and affect u.....Dont remember the bad things that others have done to u....because U cant reverse it and after all u did not do it....and also dont remember the good that u have done to others...because it is already done...moreover it will only make u expect returns in vain and regret the good things which will only devalue the highness of it.......

A Transformation

I feel there is a right time for every activity, a right place for every incident to happen and a right person who has to be responsible for it and all this is predetermined..... At every stage each one of us learns lessons from failures, disappointments and even success for that matter....But it seemed like I only acknowledged the lesson, talked about it but never put it to practice in the situations that came later, the opportunities I had later.....I only realised today how hearing the same things that I knew already can make me feel the urge to do something I had not done....It was like studying in 10th again ( the one u have already studied and passed out) but this time with more enthu, more vigour and more energy.....I felt as if I am given a second opportunity to do something that I ought to do.....( though I never wanted to do it when the first opportunity arrived).....

Rain drops were being sent from heaven along with a message for me.....I stood there feeling the drops touching my forhead, my arms and often making my eyes blink in an attempt to stop them from entering my eyes...later i realised that they were in fact trying to open my eyes!! A voice from miles away speaking a few words that directly went and shook my mind, my thoughts and brought in front of me, my hidden strengths. The voice was penetrating only today of all the days and it said " U have so much in you.....U have the capacity to do wonders....U need to realise ur potential...stop depending on others either for emotional support or for achieving something....U have everything in u to do it urself......U need to realise that u have proven now and again that u have the ability to do well and succeed all on ur own.....Dont question others...u can find the answer urself......U dont need more than a few people who care for u which u already have......U need not be very nice to everyone....u cant impress everyone.....and there is no need....Ur life will be fine and in fact better even without the care of people u crave for.....U need not be afraid of failures...U need to face them with courage and self confidence...That is what will give u a sense of respect for urself...U need to place urself high in ur own opinion.....There is nothing wrong in being a lil selfish to stand high in ur own opinion...U need ot give urself more importance than for others.....U need to have something that u can give ur life for.....a passion...It may be ur favourite field of study..... a favourite art that u wanna pursue....U need to go higher in life and achieve gr8 things....U have everything in u to do all that....Do not compromise ur priorities for the sake of something that is not worth it......U can handle situations in a very mature manner.....if u want to.....it is just that u have never wanted to.....bring some changes in yourself and u will turn into a very fine mature lady.... Start now and look at problems as challenges u can face urself and come out of it and feel a sense of pride and love for urself......Dont let others use u.....U r ur own priced possession...u cant let it go waste....Let go of extreme emotions...dont try to hold on to things and people....The source of inspiration and enthusiasm for u should be internal......It is within u....."

These things written down will keep me on track to be a transformed independent individual......I realise that every individual is a beautiful creation of god....with amazing abilities to go ahead with life happily.....We should not underestimate this ability and let it go waste.....Say to urself everyday....." what is life if not for the challenges that u overcome?...so face it...be strong...I shall win"

My realisations

Human mind is very dynamic and restless; especially mine which refuses to rest even when I am sleeping. It constantly fights to make its presence known through dreams when I am sleeping, imagination of situations and thoughts when I am alone and awake. Even when I am speaking to a person, the mind is working in the background simultaneously which is what is responsible for me having opinions on others. And often due to this continuous activity and generation of what we call thoughts, I travel to places I have never seen, solve problems I have never faced and may not face ever, experience circumstances which may never happen and realise stuff that has changed my attitude towards life, my daily life and behaviour.

The thought process of human mind is responsible for the changes we find in people and appreciate or complain saying " He is not the same now". Many people say that it is due to the environment, society and what not. But the necessary link in all this is the human mind. It is because of this that two people growing in the same house may be drastically different because they do not have the same mind and hence not the same way of absorbing , assimilating and realising things from the abovementioned factors. So i thought it is a good idea to write down all that I think when I am alone observing my surroundings, sitting in front of a comp, walking on the footpath and even when I lie awake on bed at nights waiting to get sleep....So all that follows is an incoherent set of realisations and thoughts without any continuity. The only link is that I have thought about all these things.

The belief in one single sentence can spoil a person's peace of mind and way of life. I have always believed..." Anything can happen anytime"....But it has made me so different from my peers. It makes me think of all the negative possibilities before going ahead with something and think of a way out of every negative possibility even before any problem arrives.... It never happens and all the energy I put in thinking could have been used for something else....I have been branded as a pessimist for doing that...But can a person be positive always....How can u be cautious without thinking of a negative possibility?....People say I am overcautious.....But when I want to do something really well first thing that comes to my mind is what if I fail!...The dreadful scene of me failing in it keeps me on my toes to work for success...Now can I call it as a pessimism leading to optimal results.....I know that there is a problem with what I do...But it is so involuntary....I dont make any efforts to think all this....My mind does not stop just like a clock ticking away.... But my point is why not take precautions against negative when u can?...and this will not happen if u dont have the ability to think of the negative possibilities....so this involuntary activity in mind has both been a friend and a foe to me......It does not allow me to sleep at nights......me lying idle on the bed think of my parents.....their old age ...their health.....my future.....my education....my health.....my friends future......and the list goes on.....and why is that I think of negative possibilities and spoil a peaceful sleep that the other part of the world is enjoying....?

Sometimes some sights can never get erased from ur memories and come back to u again and again ...... For me it is the sight from the corridor when I was walking on it in a hospital and I peeped into the wards......I started thinking....Old age is such a bane.....however strong people r in youth ...how muchever they fight for success and gain fame and name....this body is such a fragile piece fo flesh and bones which deserts the person .....once he is on the bed dependent on people who at that point of time are in his past situation.....life looks like hell.....his own hands and legs dont do what he wants them to.....needles pricking him all over his veins disguised as energy sources for his waning body..... all he does is stare at the activity of nurses and doctors and helplessly wondering whether everone has to experience what he is doing some day...... This sight has stayed in my mind and it shouts and tells me everytime.... Life is not a bed of roses....Most of the people experience what u r seeing.....be happy now that u r in a better situation presently.....but this positive feeling is immediately struck by something very harsh...." there is lot of age difference between u and the people who have been a part of ur life all this while----- ur parents , ur grandparents, ur aunts and uncles.....so u may see them going through these stages.....and that is not very far also"......I feel miserable that time as if I have no reserve of enthu left in me.....I go home and look at my parents and feel better.....I pray whenever I look at them..." Oh god! I dont wanna see all this with people I love so much ".....but is it realistic to pray so? can it happen?

There are always some situations where u realise that how many ever people care for u...how many ever people love u......you have to face it all alone and get out of it.....just like how u came to this world and how u r gonna leave it.....But I have one more belief that if u r brought to the entrance of something u will definitely exit that too....When the balance is maintained at the world level through borth and death.....it will definitely be maintained for a small system like the situation u get into...Given enough time everything falls to place.....If u look back and see all that u have cried for in your past---- may be a doll in nursery, a pencil in nursery, an exam in school, a friend in adolescence......It does not hold any important place in your present life.....U got into a problem and u came out of it...u got attached to something and u came out of it....so everything is a phase..... It is like waiting for the milk to curdle so that u can have sweet curd next day....

I sometimes wonder how my mind can oscillate between so many positive and negative thoughts...Is that called balance?....Life would have been good if everyone was open...there was no need to differentiate between what has to be spoken out and what not...who has to be treated formally and who need not be..... I dont know much about animnal society...but i know this thing for sure that there life is far less complicated.....All the complications that arise in our lives is just paying compensation for the intelligence that we humans have been endowed with.....No man is free...there is always something that holds him back......no person would have done everything that he wanted to.....but people who call themselves free would have just transferred the restrictions to their own minds and say that they are actually acting according to their own rules....the transition time is not accounted for.....

Love is a beautiful feeling but it is problematic when two people love each other too much also.....Issues of possesiveness, personal space creep in......or they think each of them understand othe other so much that there is no need to say anything that they used to...It slowly turns into " used to love each other ".....There is need to express.....it is something like a plant growing.....but do we stop watering a plant just because it has grown fully....?

These discrete thoughts shall continue......and spread to social, psychological and other fields in future posts......I shall stop it here now.....

Random Thoughts

Usually I plan out what I am going to do next...But right now I dont know what I am going to type in the next few minutes...Recently I have started experimenting this out...I try to do things without planning to see whether they come out better, as my mind will be cooler and chilled out...last few months have been the coolest days in terms of my temper and mental condition...I have learnt to njoy smaller joys in life and not worry or peek too much into the future...I was impressed by the way some people live life chilled out hedonistically.....I have an appreciation for such people and their manners of managing life's routine activities...So i am trying to become one and appreciate myself too.....

Life is short yet we think and do things as if we will live forever ...we postpone things we can njoy at this moment and probably tell ourselves " right now let me struggle and once I reach position X I can do all these things in leisure....but when u reach position X u will tell the same thing with reference to position Z....Leisure is not something that will come in ur path...u need to move away from the routine path...take a break , njoy and get back reenergised.....But this does not happen because struggling for things somehow gets entrenched in our system due to what some elders teach us....now u r in school...Once u finish ur 10th and get a good percentage u will be a queen....u can do whatever u want....but that is not true ....after 10th ur next barrier is 12th....then ur graduation....My god where do we stop?.....obviously we cant ride a three wheeled cycle after finishing 10th!!

I have read this somewhere..." To live life fully u have to attend ur own funeral"....It has a lot of meaning...if u can imagine ur self dyign today u will realise what r the things u like to do and have never doen in ur life...and the thought that u cant do it again will be so unberable that it will make u do it...U can also imagine in ur funeral what r the things people will tell about u...have u been good to them?...could u ahve reconciled with that one friend u stopped talkign to...could u have been ncier to some people.....all these questions will improve ur way of life definitely.....

Life is a gift ...u need to live it the way u like to not succumbing to some immaterial pressures.....My thought process starts somewhere and ends somewhere else...This happens always...but I could bring out the point that life is to live it to teh fullest!!

Dreams

Dreams !!....There may hardly be a night or two in my whole life ( tracing back its beginning to the oldest times that got registered in my memory and still remain...which mark the beginning of my realisation of existence of GODA ... I feel this is what a person feels his age is too ... ) when I got up in the morning or afternoon as I do most of the times now and dont remember what I dreamt of in my sleep.....Dreams make up an important part of my life.... In dreams anything is possible....I have experienced that everydaythere a lot of things that I see, I do and hear.....atleast one of these things is somehow represented in the night's dream.....Different ideas get amazingly linked in the dream....Some of my dreams have made me wonder at the presence of mind shown even in the dreams...

It was the night of Dec 31st , 1999.....I had intentions of waking up early ( once in a blue moon)....as it would be a special dawn ---- milennium sunrise!!...(I think I can change 'once in blue moon' to 'once in a milennium')....In my dream that night I went up to the terrace and waited eagerly to see the sun emerging from behind the trees and also watch nature's abstract art in hues of orange, red and black....But to my surprise the night sky became brighter and brighter and finally transformed into what I can call morning .....I could not see the sun.....I cant believe that I realized in my dream itself that I was facing the west like a moron....Then I actually got up at 5 30 after that dream....I went to the same place and waited for the sunrise this time facing east...but more than the sunrise, what lingered on in my mind and what makes me think even today is this influence of intelligence on dreams.....

I seem to have this beautiful control over my dreams....My mind is always alert even when I am dreaming....It is so realistic and very much related to my daily life unlike the accounts of dreams I have heard from my friends.....I have always been a dreamer....I imagine things and incidents that can make me happy and live in the false world that I build......If you venture to watch me without my knowledgewhen I am alone, u can often find me singing and talking to people in my false world.....though those people actually exist in the real world I give a totally new character to those people in my dream world......These people are always a part of my night dreams too...There are many things in life we cannot do because we r not the sole controllers of incidents that happen in our lives.....but dreams provide a medium to experience the pleasure we would get if things happened as we would want them to happen....U may wish to play see saw in a park even now.....but u wont....u r a grown up person and u would feel conscious to actually go to a park and play.....This is just an example...There are many things in our life we would like to do....but just because we r not " supposed" to do according to the people who make up our society.....So the members of the society just prohibit each other from doing certain things and indirectly raising the bar for themselves...A likes to dance on the road and B,C,D feel it is stupid to do so...So A does not do it.....and similarly what B likes to do may nto be approved by A C and D.....but in our dreams there is no society.....no one to tell u something should not be done....Dreams are nothing but the activation of certain neurons......so if u r playing see saw in a park in ur dream u can actually feel it through all senses....u can feel the iron seat ....the wind blowing against ur face ....and ur body experiencing the acceleration......( if U r an intense dreamer).....After all in both cases whether u do it really or think of it in the dream all ur body can experience is the action of ur neurons......

U can feel the touch of a person miles away......U can have hours of chit chat with people u wanna talk to.....In reality u may not even say ' Hi'...But in ur dreams they will be very compatible to u....because after all it is U controlling their behaviour with u too......so the dream world has lot more happiness, pleasure and satisfaction in store for u because....it is constructed by U....U r th creator.....

One of the things I enjoy most is DREAMING......DREAM DREAM DREAM......it improves ur mental helath by providing vent to ur feelings and frustrations....by fulfilling ur unsaid desires......and making u a more satisfied person....and someone has said..." Dream is the first step to succeed..." so I dont mean the night dreams only....every moment when u r working u r in fact dreaming of its success ...watching ur goal and moving towards it......Dreams form an important part of human existence...

The touch of gratitude

A bank is a place where money flows in and out, customers come and go but occasionally some customers tend to develop good rapport with the officials in the bank and one such event lays the foundation to the story I am going to narrate. It is important to mention here that my father was a bank official who gradually started speaking to a customer who came to the bank every month to collect a $100 check. On one of my periodic mischievous ventures to the bank to do role play as the manager in his absence, I got an opportunity to listen to that customer who made me embody gratitude as the basic plus point in my character just by narrating his personal experience in a laconic way. And here begins his experience which is translated into a story as narrated by him….

"Seeing an old man who waits for the Government pension every month end coming to the bank to collect $ 100 check without fail, I am sure you have assumed that my son staying abroad and is sending it to me as it is considered a son’s duty to take care of his parents. But let me tell you, I don’t have children. But the story of this $100 check dates back to 1975 when I was still working as a Government clerk. I had gone to a post office to send a telegram to my sister when I saw a charming young boy at the entrance badly searching for something and I could make out from his facial expression that it was nothing more than a wild goose chase. But I don’t usually approach anyone and delve into their personal matters and therefore I carried on with my work. It is unbelievable that out of around 50 people moving here and there in the big post office that boy chose to come to me. I don’t look that social and approachable, do I? He came to me and said "Excuse me, sir". The voice was anxious and apprehensive, he seemed completely demented. I gestured vaguely that I was ready to listen to him as it is human to do so when a person seems to be in trouble. He continued speaking with his hands trembling in nervousness. It was making me believe that he had a genuine problem. He said, "Sir, My name is Ramu and I have just completed my B tech and I wish go abroad for my higher studies. I have to send the application today so that it reaches before the last date. I had 20 Rs in my wallet which I lost on the way. As it is closing time now, I will not be able to get the money before the time. I am really in a very helpless situation. Can you please lend me Rs 15? I shall definitely return it to you if you give me your address"

I am a skeptical person and don’t believe things easily and as the world is getting worse everyday I find it hard to trust anyone. Fifteen rupees was not a negligible amount at that time. Yet I thought for a minute. As the time was running out I decided that Rs 15 can be earned by me easily; if it is helping someone it is good to spend for such a cause and even if this guy is lying to me, it is fine as it is not a very big amount for an earning man. So I took out Rs15 from my pocket and handed it over to him. His eyes reflected happiness, unlimited joy, gratitude and hope. For that one moment I felt so good about myself for bringing happiness into someone’s life. And after that he pestered me to give my address to him and I gave it to him hesitantly. Later I walked out even without being vigilant to check whether the money was used for the purpose he mentioned.

Neither the amount nor the duration of the incident was remarkable for me to give persistent thought to it and I happily forgot about it. I remember to have doubted the genuineness of that guy a couple of times when I did not get that Rs 15 back. The incident was so evanescent that it did not occur to me even when I received an air mail about two and a half years later. I did not have any clue as to who would have sent it to me. I had no friends or relatives abroad. I opened the envelope eagerly and found a letter in a beautiful handwriting that showed maturity and good organization. I read through very fast at the end of which a tear or two rolled down my cheeks. It was the same boy who was completely erased out of my memory, the same boy whom I had considered insincere on not getting back my money, the same boy who had respected me and worshipped me throughout those two and a half years when he was doing his post graduate studies. He had written to me as soon as he had got a stable job. Believing that he remembered me was far, I could not even accept the fact that he had preserved my address which I had given him that day in the post office on a piece of paper that had very less lifetime left. I realized that he must have written it down in an important diary or a notebook with the intention of thanking me some day as that paper would not have existed so long. The very realization that he intended to be thankful to me touched my heart.

I felt like reading the letter again as I had just glanced through it in a hurry. Those words were so sincere and heartfelt. He had written,

"Sir, I am sorry that I could not return your money for this long as I had to make arrangements to leave after that day and was very busy with it. I am indebted to you throughout my life for the crucial help you did. If it was not for your kindness, I would not have been sitting here in this office in such an honored position today. I know that what you have done to me cannot be redeemed. Still I shall make my effort by being there for you whenever you need for whatever reason. You can count on me in any situation in your life. I am giving my Phone number and address. I don’t know anything about you, except that you are a very kindhearted person. I don’t know about your family, your financial status or your likes and dislikes. I want to do something for you for my satisfaction. If you give me your account number in a bank, I shall send $100 every month to you. Please don’t think that I am degrading you by sending money. I have a lot of respect for you. You can think of me as the small squirrel that did its share of work in the mega task of building a bridge for Rama in the Ramayana. It is just a small way of expressing my gratitude from miles away. If you agree to this please let me know.

Yours sincerely

Ram

After reading this letter I wiped my tears with a smile. I got an assurance that being childless is not a disadvantage as long as such people still exist in this world. And now you have guessed that it is the same person who sends me $100 cheque every month. The value of dollar may go up and down, but the value that I hold in his heart shall always remain the same. I am proud of myself for changing the turn of someone’s life by my small action and I am sure he too likes himself for being a grateful person. Such small things really make you feel good about yourself as well as others."

I listened to him with astonishment and I remember that I hardly blinked my eye. His story was really an eye-opener for me. And can you believe it? I have a small diary in which I have written the names of all those people whose little acts of kindness have contributed in changing the course of my life significantly. It gives me a sense of well being. I realized that day that acts of kindness and gratitude touch heart instantly.

The arms that cuddled with Love

Now this is something I wrote long back for a Magazine but it was not selected...so I publish it myself here...

The arms that cuddled with Love are stretched pleading for the same...

"Blogspot" provides a platform to give lyricism to feelings and thoughts dwelling in the heart of hearts, to render the beauty of words to our contemplation, meditation and introspection. As an adolescent of fifteen sitting in a clinic where my mother had gone for a check up, I started deliberating on this issue. This whole contemplation was kindled by a few words written on a poster hanging on the wall. The words went like this-"If you think SOMEBODY is a burden to you today, DON’T FORGET you were a burden to that SOMEBODY in the past and you will be a burden SOMEBODY else in the future." These words made me think hard to decipher who that SOMEBODY was and it was only a matter of seconds and I realized that the person who said these words was referring to two people by "SOMEBODY". Two people who are indispensable for your whole existence in this beautiful world. They are the ones, who introduce you to the world by giving you a name, by giving you your identity. Mother is the one who carries you in her womb for nine whole months embracing every hardship that she encounters, every pain that she suffers from, absolutely for you to come to this earth. Your father is the one who holds your hand and helps you in taking your first steps, in bouncing back every time you fall learning to walk into the grand entrance of your life. The lives of parents change when their entire dreams and aspirations take the human form. Every decision they take thereafter is touched by you – the privileged life-affirming person in their life. They see their dreams live through you. The subtle sacrifices they make for your sake may go unnoticed several times but the fact that their love is the most unconditional is carved in stone.

It is very unfortunate that old age homes are filled with such "once upon a time" loving parents who spent all their life insuring their children against the forces of evil and the necessity for insuring their own life was expunged by their enormous love for their offspring. The same child who was the apple of their eye a few years back has orphaned them after growing up. I wonder how a person can hesitate to even feed the same people whose hands fed him in the past. The same people who slogged their guts out for his education, for his progress. Why does one kick the ladder after reaching the pinnacle? This is not an imagination as the large number of old age homes which exist are a proof of this. Why does one not realize that life not only evolves but also revolves like a wheel where the person at the top has to go through the stages where he too gets crushed between the wheel and the hard land? The glory days are ephemeral.

I have personally come across families where retirement marks the end of all happiness, freedom and respect for the parents. They are then doomed to depend on their children who consider them as burden and suffer humiliation and insult. They have to put their heads down which they had always lifted up till that point in life. There are instances where a father cannot even make a phone call without his son’s permission; a mother cannot cook what the current BOSS of the house dislikes. How can a person forget the reality of life that everyone has to go through every stage in life? When the parents never treated them as dependents earlier in life and instead made their children the prince and princess of the house why should they be a sentenced to a life filled with insult, sorrow and disparagement? Does money make man forget his responsibilities, his duties? Is the extensive world filled with cut throat competition where people are racing to outsmart each other shrinking at the level of moral values and sentiments? I fail to understand why a person who can support his wife and his children thinks twice before spending a hundred rupee note for his father’s medicine. The increasing number of nuclear families may be due to several factors like job opportunities in big cities, education, money etc but this escapism from responsibility towards parents is definitely a factor.

Parents are also human beings and as it is said "To err is human". Due to generation gap there may be issues on which the elderly differ, they may also make mistakes and be emotionally unstable due to old age. But all these are microscopic when compared to the amount of love they always showered on the pieces of their heart that they allowed to walk out by having children. So the younger generation needs to realize that there is no need for old age homes where humanity exists, where love exists, where responsibility, duty, sentiments and gratitude are given prime importance. Finally at the end of our lives when our entire life flashes in front of us we should rather feel proud about the way we kept the two important people in our life happy and not be guilty of making the people who loved us suffer. So I urge the youth to take an oath of being responsible and giving care and love that our parents deserve.