Joys of Life

Memories that make me nostalgic but may not happen again.

• Summer vacation in my 3rd class when Anand, Arvind and myself climbed trees to pluck fruits and eat them.
• 4 people playing choukabara on the floor and the excitement to see what my next throw of die shows up.
• Staying out of the house 10 AM to 10 PM playing with the children of the colony.
• Having dinner just to have that mango supposed to be had after dinner.
• Studying for the last exam every year imagining the days to come after 12 PM the next day.
• Small fights with Megha everyday.
  
• Going to movies with mom every Saturday.
• Jumping the wall separating the primary and secondary school with Aparna.
• Sharing the PJs as the greatest comedy in life with schoolmates.
• Combine-study with Savita with intervals of kobri mithai and puliogare.
• Waiting for the games period to play In-out dodgeball with classmates.
• Anxiety of April 1st every year waiting for the exam results.
• Sharing secrets with Arpitha with promises of truth.
• Power cut times in the night where the whole street is out with kids on road and parents at the door. I loved dancing in the night on the street :P
• Endless games of carrom and lagori played with Ashwini,Ashish,Seema and Alok.
• Cool weather of June and the hangover of the summer vacation.
• Sharing lunch with classmates at school narrating the stories of endless number of movies I watched.
• Sharada madam tuition classes with loads of fun with Sunil and Sanju.
• Hoarding 10000 coins in game of Monopoly.
  
• Stealthily eating sweets and chocolates in classes. Sorry to the teachers. :)
• The walk to the maths tuition with Arpitha and Shwetha.
• Planetarium visits and discovery channel discussions with Melonie.
• Night stay watching movies with Shilpa.
  
• Letter writing to friends far off - Nidhi and Ashish.
  
• Eating churmuri at street corner.
• Waiting for summer to have JOY ice cream.
• Talking diaries of the daily chores to Ashwini.
• Van gang to BASE and abundant fun. especially jokes cracked by Venkat intentionally and Meghana unintentionally.
• Bunking classes with Deepika and Kavita at college to have chat and chikki at Hanuman stores.
• Star-gazing with Archana.
• Watching SRK movies at home with a group of 10.
• Bulbing at the Titanic movie munching stuff through out.
• Mugging the freedom struggle with Gowri.
  
• All the groups of three that I always had.
  
• Mugging for quizzes at IIT library one day before.
• Preparing for dance shows and failing on stage.
• Forest-trek throughout the campus.
• Early morning visits to the beach and the murugan idly.
• Night-out mugging for the quiz and night-out chatting after the quiz.
• Open air theatre movies.
• First year of job - the fights, the chats and the movies.
  
• Stay with Nitika at AECS.
• The three musketeers.
• Age of SMSing the fiancee at the drop of a hat.
• Endless shopping, eating and movies in the engagement period.
• The hurry of arrangements of marriage.
• Thrill of the honeymoon.

After the honeymoon, you stop. You have grown up. You have responsibilities. The next time you come back to this list is when you have your kid. I had a very happy childhood. I shall add to this list when I re-live the childhood of my kid :)

Thank You Series - Episode 2

A good measure of maturity is to remind yourself the prejudices and notions of childhood. I had my own set of those.

· Fair people always had a good first impression. I don’t exactly think it logically makes sense now but back then when I was a school kid, I did like to hang around fair people. I admit.

· I also had this notion that “North Indians” are fairer than “South Indians”. And what did North mean to me? Anything North of Karnataka where people can speak Hindi.

· Tenants need to respect the landlords more than vice versa. May be this got imbibed because my parents always made sure they showed some extra respect for the landlords.

Ranju

When I think back now, I don’t hold any of these notions now. But it is nice to remember the lady who shattered all the notions right when I was in the seventh class. That was when I got the opportunity to be the landlord’s daughter for the first time. I was all excited about it. I did rehearse the first few lines I would speak when they would come home the first time. To add to my excitement, my father had told me that they were Hindi speaking north Indians. Now that increased my expectations of “fair” complexion and also the pride of being a KV student who could converse well in Hindi. I remember the day August 1^st, 1996 when the family first landed at out place.

A journey started off from that day – a journey that left such a lasting impression on me that I would never forget that family, especially the lady of the house- Ranju Aunty. First is always special as they say. The first time I met her – my expectations of fair complexion was shattered. I came back home and told my mom. –“She is not North Indian. She is not fair.” Little did I know while cribbing that she would be one woman who would come close to my mom in terms of how much I would love her? As days passed she did win all our hearts. Not only my family but the whole colony used to love her.

What set her apart was her cheerfulness while talking to people of any age-right from a kid to a 70 year old man. The genuine concern that showed up while she enquired – “how are you?” We do ask thousands of people on a daily basis the formal question – “How are you doing?” But how many of those do we really mean? How many times would we call them home and serve dinner if they said they were hungry? But she would. She really meant that trivial question. She was ready to help people any time in any situation which was one of the outstanding qualities that attracted people to her.

I don’t know how many times I have stayed back at her house not missing my parents. To reiterate how much of a big deal that is, there has never been a place other than her house where I have not missed my parents. I still remember the way she used to feed her little son and me the same way saying “Kha goda Kha. Khaye bina mein tumhe jane nahi de rahi”. Probably that was when I put up those few kilos :P She was a great company for anything – Chatting over Chai, watching a movie, cooking. Literally anything. Those 2 years of my life were the most fun-filled ones. There are no words to explain how much of a help she had been to my mom. More than a sister, More than a mother.

Finally when the day for her to leave to go back to “North India” arrived, I could not speak. But my tears did. It has been 12 years since that day now and I still miss you aunty. You were a magic that never fades.

One year of married life

One year is a long enough period to be important. To list out all the important years of my life

• The first year of my life which I don't remember but that does not take away its importance.
• The year I experienced school for the first time.
• Year spent preparing for the important exams of 10th ,12th and entrances.
• First year of job.
• First year of marriage.

Of all these, I bet the first year of marriage has been the one that has had a sea-change in my way of life, my outlook, my behavior, my attitude and to put it in two words- My life. So here goes lessons learnt in Marriage 101. That is how courses were named in my Engineering.

1. You will see new faces of the person you think you know. Take it as a learning rather than -"Oh I did not expect this". Marriage is full of surprises. Expect the Unexpected.
2. You are watched. Your independence and personal space shrinks. Take it as a blessing that you have someone to share every bit of your space rather than -"Oh God, I am suffocated." The more you share the space, the more you get as it easier to make someone realize your needs when you share and know each other well than laying down conditions and cribbing.
3. Formalities are bound to be there. You need to smile without reason, you need to enquire about well being even if you are not bothered, you need to act as expected. Take this as -" Free lessons to corporate world" than "Oh why do I need to do all this".
4. If you thought you were busy, you will only be busier. Clock ticks off with 50% work done. Take this as "Lessons in Time Management" than "Oh God I have time for nothing". Gradually you will get used to the busy schedule and steal your moments out of it.
5. Friends are seen more in Phonebook and Facebook than face to face. Take this as a test of strong and true friendship than " It is so bad that I dont get to meet my friends so often." True friends will always understand and stay with you. Moreover your spouse is a friend for life.
   
6. Your home is not yours anymore. This is probably the hardest facts to digest. You become a guest in the same place where you were born and brought up. Meeting your family becomes moments to steal than demand as a right. Slowly you realise that a half an hour spent with them was never enjoyed so much before. You value your people and the time with them more than anytime before in your life. Take this as "Realising the value of people" than "How dare someone can expect me not to meet my own people whenever I want!"
   
7. Your spouse comes before "Yes" to question. Whether it is a party,movie or even an official meeting. Take this as "An invisible hand regularizing your life" than "Oh I could not say yes on my own."

All said and done, Marriage is one of the most beautiful things to happen in ones life. It makes you less selfish and more giving. It makes you care and feel cared. It makes you feel important. It makes you more responsible and planned. It makes you more knowledgeable about human psychology. You are gifted for a life time a shoulder to lean on, hand to hold and trod the path of life, heart to live in and one whole person who is totally yours. Any other relationship in the world has the distinction of "You and me". This is one relationship where the distinction slowly fades into thin air.

God, Thank you for the life you have given me. I wait for more blessings that come with marriage in many more disguised forms.

Timeless in Tokyo

Tokyo - I had heard about the movie "Love in Tokyo" but never`watched it. I did not know that I would land up in Tokyo before watching the movie. I thought watching the movie was easier and more likely. Yet I am here now. When I joined my job, my superiors had a misconception that I don't like traveling. They claim I told so in the interview. Anyways 2 years passed without me traveling anywhere out of India and now I am here in Tokyo. I have seen people writing travelogues describing the place. But I am not good at that. I would probably pen down what I felt at the place.

Where do I start? I felt so many things that cannot form a coherent paragraph. A set of disconnected lines will do.

Awe of witnessing an organized, well planned city touching the sky when a day before I was stuck for 2 hours in Bangalore Traffic and chaos

Wonder at the way people walk in lines like machines over here.

Pity for the monotony in the lives here.

Surprise to see arrows and boards everywhere telling u where to go and how to walk. There are arrows on staircase and pavement as well.

Embarrassment when I was pointed out by someone that I am standing on the right side on the elevator and I am not supposed to. It leads to jam. I am not supposed to hold a visiting card in one hand. Not supposed to pay the bill by keeping the money on the table rather than the tray meant for it. Apparently people at Osaka stand on the left of the elevator because they are rivals of Tokyo. Now I dont know what to feel for that!

Feel of Freedom when I walk alone singing and dancing to songs on ipod on the street slipping into just anything I catch hold of without bothering about who is commenting on me. I don't know anyone!

Excitement to take a picture of every small damn thing I see and narrate the story to folks back home.

Thrill of shopping gifts for the loved ones from TOKYO and imagine the happiness I would get to see.

Fascination to see the electronics I saw in the showroom back in Bangalore stand as tall buildings all around.

Disbelief to find myself in Starbucks when I am reading the book "How Starbucks Saved my Life" by Michael Gill.

Memories of Bollywood movies when I sip hot coffee and walk on the street at 0 degrees singing a song.

Fear of getting stuck between the doors of the high speed trains. I know there are sensors, but what if they fail!

Amazed to see the love for Japanese in the Japanese when it comes to talking, boards, bills, books. In short everything and anything. Come on, at least the currency coin should have a number on it! Either they hate English or love Japanese too much.

Joy to see an Indian Veg Restaurant to feed this hungry Veggie in Tokyo.

Fulfillment when the client acknowledged the meeting was useful in his Japanese style by bowing.

Feeling the smallness and the greatness of mankind simultaneously when I stood next to the Tokyo Tower.

Gratitude for the politeness of the Japanese I interacted with for making my stay comfortable.

Pride of visiting a wax museum though I am not talking about the Madame Tussauds in London.

Child-like satisfaction after watching a Japanese 3-D animation and the dolphins dance live.

That

makes it 19 different feelings. If 20 is a good round number, the one I had saved for last is

Urge to go back to India.

How much ever I see the world, whatever I enjoy, whatever good my mind finds in the other places, at the end of the day I would always like to be back home. Either I have got used to the imperfections in India or it has become such an inherent part of my life that perfection makes me feel out of place :)

"Apne sadak ke kone me apnon ke saath pani puri khane me jo mazaa rakha hai us ke liye aise kitne bhi posts kaafi nahi."

Love
Goda

PS: If you are still wondering why the title is Timeless in Tokyo, I left my watch back in India. My cell was drained out of battery and did not work here. So I had no idea of time yet managed my days. But as a tip, leaving ur mobile and watch in the trash for a day allows u to feel the life without pressure.

Who is the kid?

"Ladies and Gentlemen. For security reasons passengers are requested to bring to the notification of the airport security any unclaimed baggage" announced the akashvani at the Bengaluru International Airport. A lady with streaks of grey hair hiding the wrinkles on her forehead and heavy woolen sweater protecting her from the chill of 4 30 AM in Bengaluru sat on the bench with a basket. A basket full of stuff typical of South Indian outing - A coffee flask, a small tiffin box with upma in it, a napkin and a water bottle. She was neither aware of the eat-outs at the airport nor could figure out what the announcement meant. She asked her husband in Kannada innocently.

"What are they saying ? Are they saying our daughter's flight has come?"

"No. They are saying that now a days it is very insecure out here as terrorists attack any place. So we should be careful."

"Oh My God. I should have lighted the lamp at home and done the Pooja at home before leaving. You said we dont have time even to take bath and come."

"Of course. You were bent upon preparing the breakfast and then leaving. Now lets just wait. I am already tensed till I see my daughter. Don't talk all this now."

She remained silent as she could understand his restlessness. The clock ticked by and an hour passed. It was the time for the arrival of BA 119 in which their daughter was coming. It was delayed by 20 min. The anxious father kept moving to the display board and back to the bench again and again. His feeble eye-sight would not allow him to check the status sitting on the bench. She could not wait longer and she started her questions again.

"What did you see?"

"The flight is going to come soon."

"Can we see the flight when it comes?"

"No, it will come on the other side of this building. We wont be able to see it. But they will write it on the board when it comes."

"Oh. What about all the luggage. She has to bring it from the other side of the building till here. How do they get down from the plane? Kids are also coming. How will she manage?"

"Even I am worried. But they will give her luggage only later is what she told. Then she can get it on those trolleys we saw others going with sometime back. They put some ladder for her to get down."

"Good they have some facility like that. But what if they don't give her the right luggage?"

"I think they will give. She asked us not to worry"

As soon as the display showed - "ARRIVED", he called his wife - "Come soon. The flight has come." She juggled the basket, umbrella and the small purse that had the cash to start running towards the arrival gate. A young girl of 25 sitting next to her waiting for the same flight interrupted and said -"It will take time for them to come out. Immigration and customs formalities will be there." The terms did not make an iota of sense to the lady. Probably she heard those terms for the first time. She gave a smile acknowledging that she heard the girl but continued her sprint.

Among the crowd holding placards at the arrival gate were these old couple with their eager sight hooked on to the farthest point they could see through the glass doors. There was no sight of any passenger till 20 min. But neither the eagerness nor the strength to stand there decreased. Finally after 40 min, the lady exclaimed - "I can see the kids. Bend down here. You can also see their legs." The old man tried to bend down to get a glimpse. It did not occur to him that it is a matter fo 5 mins that they will be standing right in front of him. It was the joyous moment they had been waiting for. Every second from then was like an year. The last few seconds had them slowly sneaking into the area reserved for passengers to hug the kids and their daughter.

There were smiles and there were tears. For anyone who would have observed them for those 2 hours, it was tough to say that the separation was only 3 months and that their daughter is a 30 year old software Engineer who has roamed the world. For parents, it does not matter, does it? For they don't see a difference between the two kids who ran to them at the gate and their daughter who walked slowly towards them. She always remains a kid to them even if they have to figure out the technological world like a kid trying to learn new things.

P and L

A B C D... This is what we started off with as nursery kids. But as we grow up we are left with just 2 letters out of the 26 - P and L. If you still did not get what it is, it means you still have the kid inside you. Grow up! Of course it is Profit and Loss. The two terms we hear the most in our daily lives in different forms. More so if you are in a corporate environment.

"What do I gain?" or to introduce more philanthropy and unity "What do we gain?". "What is the incentive to do xyz?" The most common questions I heard all day long had made me conclude it is all about gain and loss. More the progress humans are making, farther are we moving from "emotions, humanity, selflessness, care" and all such great words which are only part of books and movies which are again made to make some P :P

I often think about it and move on with my life lest I am left behind. Yesterday I was going on a bike ( Of course Pillion... I have still not become confident enough to ride one myself. I confess.)
I was lost in my own world framing my philosophy when I heard an unknown voice from behind -"Madam" It is rare to to find known people approach you and say a "hi" without a purpose. We have got too busy to do something without this other P. For a moment I wondered what would this stranger have to talk to me in the middle of the road! He continued - "Your dupatta". "My dupatta what??" "Oh it was close to the wheels and could have been dangerous if only he had not warned me". He moved ahead swiftly before I could realize and say a "Thank you". But that left me thinking - "Oh world has still not become that bad after all. There are people still who feel like doing something however small it is when it comes to some strangers life without thinking - How do I care!" It made me smile :)

May be my small world did not create enough such examples for me every day to remind me world is still beautiful. Its not that bad after all. Or
May be I was not looking at the right places and kept pushing myself towards cynicism. Or
May be world is indeed the way I think where such examples are rare to find.

I don't have the perfect answer. Yet I would like to believe I have not been looking at the right places. The article in the newspaper the next day about a guy who distributes slippers anywhere he finds someone walking barefoot was indeed inspiring and reassuring. He has been doing that for 5 years without publicity (the other P). It assured me two things - "Its not that bad after all."
" Well, I have started looking in the right direction."

Random Thought #4

Thought: People can give you piece of mind but peace of mind should come from within.

Reason: Of course I am experienced :D and have collected many such pieces, played jigsaw puzzle and kept them aside now.

Explanation: People may comment on your actions, decisions and your ways but what you do with it , how you make the decision, how you live with it and whether you achieve peace of mind is left to you.

Exponential variations!

Bad picture quality.... But makes sense!

Mother's day

Second Sunday of May is the day to honor all the mother's in the world. Thats today! Wow. I did not remember it till I got my brush in the hand to clean up my teeth today. I got out of slumber suddenly and the bulb lit up.

I immediately rushed through rest of the process and went up to my mother and tried to be cute saying -"Happy Mother's day, Mummy" and then I could see tears of happiness in her eyes and it got all mushy. She hugged me tight and kissed me [:-*]. Damn! My teacher told me in school I should stop day dreaming. Well, all those things in Italics was my day dream. She said - " Stop calling me Mummy. It means dead-body!" [:O]

Ok now I said "Happy Mother's day Amma" in our own sweet native language and asked her
-" So what do you want for Mother's day? Shall I buy you a new mobile?" OK, may be my dream would come true now[:)] She said
-" Why cant you show all this love daily? Should someone somewhere in the world declare publicly when you should love your mom?"

That makes sense. I have learnt a lesson today.

There is no special day to say "I love you" and express it. Do it everyday like you brush your teeth. And the result would be great - A heartfelt Colgate smile [:D]

(Wait a sec! Was that Pepsodent? I never observe it you know. I am always sleepy when I brush and I don't buy stuff for home. Me the Lazy bum!)

Thanksgiving

OK I hear that and I agree that it is not October in Canada or November in US . Come on! We are in India! [You can see the "d" because of my favorite pink background :)]. That does not mean I can celebrate it in May. Moreover I am a pure vegetarian and hence

" No Turkey Business"

Then next question - " Why this post?" and the answer is " Generally" :D

Now that we are set for Thanksgiving let me start by making it clear that here " I am the post creator and hence I will be giving away all the thanks to God". You can do it after reading the whole thing. ( if u feel like)

I shall start with the highest intensity of Thanksgiving and go down the lane so that when u finish reading you'll feel light again like you are doing now.


Scene 1: Physiotherapy centre

I shall start of saying "Thanks" to you for raising those eyebrows wondering if something is wrong with me. Chill! I am fine. I had been there with mom for her treatment. I also got to meet this 25 year old fair and beautiful ( they don't go together always) girl waiting for treatment. My first blame was towards the long sitting hours in AC offices which could screw up your backbone. But I soon realized that was not the reason why she was here. She was a victim of "Muscular dystrophy" . Yes I too remembered Vidya Balan from Guru. But here there was no Madhavan to love her and take care. Her parents though very rich never found peace of mind because of this. She cant sit straight and her spinal cord is totally useless now. She always needs help for the basic things we do with ease like urinating. Being a girl I tried to imagine what she would do during those days which are advertised as " way to freedom" by Shhhh ( Whisper - if you did not catch the euphemism).

I don't dare to describe her problems any further. It is very depressing.

I thank GOD for giving me an intact spinal cord !!


Scene 2: A road on the way to office

I am running late to office. You may ask me how is it possible in the era of Fle?i timings ( that ? is x which became too fle?ible). Well, it all depends on how your teammates are -early birds or late lathiefs.
On the way I see a house ( I am not sure if I can call it a house because all it had were three walls - two of bricks and one of mud and a roof of dried up coconut leaves). Immediately my mind thinks of the time when Bangalore was flooded due to imbalances in nature created by man. It should have been terrible! What are they doing? Brushing teeth with some coal and bathing in dirty water? Are they cleaning themselves up or making themselves dirty! Should I mention how they would eat?
God! How could I crib about the hefty salary I am paid?

I thank GOD for making me capable of meeting the basic necessities of food, house and hygiene :)

Scene 3 : Diagnostic center

Ok Ok. Again nothing wrong with me. Its my mom again. She had to go through a blood test. Now it is not about any of the patients there. Let us think "Out of the Dabba" ( I hear it too often now a days). It is about the people who conduct those tests in the lab. I talk to a person to find out his " job profile". He comes at 7 am in the morning traveling 10 km to this center and he is welcomed by whole lot of SHIT. Yes, I mean it in the literal sense. He has to examine hundreds of different stool samples and he does it the whole day. So he gets to have his lunch break, evening tea everything in between. I think how could anyone aspire for or choose such a career and within seconds my "SANE" head bangs me on my head ( outer surface) and says " Stupid! Do you think he would if he had the freedom to do anything better?" Roti, makan, kapada ke liye kuch bhi karna padtha hai. Ab to aadat pad gayi hogi.

I thank God for giving me a job that I enjoy ( I may not express it always !) and can do sitting at home or in an AC room.


I don't have a favorite number. So I don't stick to the same number of points. You need not expect 5 because of my previous blog or 4 because of the previous previous .. n times blog! There is always suspense [:D]. I decide to stop with three scenes :)

Now that I am done, you can start your Thanksgiving.

"Happy Thanksgiving "

Chicken Pox for the Soul

Ladies and Gentlemen! I am back like a Phoenix after staying away from BLOGSPOT for some time now. There is a small difference though. :) Phoenix comes back from ashes but I am back from the crusts of Chicken Pox however gross that may sound. It is said " Truth is always bitter " but it can be gross too sometimes you see. Since I am back I would like to start the resurrected [Seems like GRE prep is helping :)] blog with a bulleted list of things that Chicken pox taught me in life. Sounds interesting? If not you can stop reading here and move on to an alternate tab in your firefox browser. [ If you are not one of those outdated IE fans :) *]

1. Things take their own time baby! Patience!

"Ah this is chicken pox". The Doctor said with an air of confidence as soon as he saw the blisters on my hand. " No need to worry. Rest of the blisters will come up in another 5 days and then crust and fall. You don't have to do anything except taking some antivirals. You better don't do anything. If you try to scratch, break the water bubble or pull the crust, it might leave a scar!" Does not that sound terrifying for an Indian girl yet to be married ? :"> [ If you did not get what that is, it is an emoticon showing me blush ]
So there started my week of idleness and vettiness personified making me arrive at this macro theory about life. You will have to wait for the dark clouds of problems you feel helpless about to move away. No use trying to meddle with them and turning them into a permanent worry. Just be calm and wait for them to pass on. As someone said - " This too will pass". All problems are like blisters of chicken pox which appear and then go away. You just have to wait with patience. I bet you did not like the comparison. But you know you cant help it if you are still reading it. This too shall pass :D because we move to the next point.

2. Keep it short!

That was not for my blog. No way! I am not keeping this post short. May be next time! The point I am trying to make here is it is very common for people to shoot a formal question to you when they call you or meet you. " How are you ? " if they do not know you are unwell and " How are you feeling now? " if they already know it. Poor souls. What else can you expect them to ask? But do you really think they are interested in your details of experience of illness ( Chicken pox in this case) ? I bet for a big "NO". So keep it short and learn to say " I am feeling better". That would make both of you comfortable. You would not want someone to hang up or get out and think -" Why the hell did I ask?", would you?
* This rule applies to all kinds of illness that affect human species

3. Your Share is yours!

Wondering what this means? If you are, my intention of writing the title in a cryptic way ( if you can call it so ) is successful :). If not, OK lets move on.
How many ever people you have surrounding you, helping you out, running up and down to get things done for you, Baby! it is real/cruel world. You must go through your share of pain. You cant give it away and there is no alternative. I am not preaching about KARMA here. Hmm May be something like that. Stating this principle at a macro level would look something like this - " YOU CANT ESCAPE WHAT YOU ARE BOUND TO GO THROUGH. THERE IS NO LUCKY BUSINESS".

4. Stop cribbing !

Yes, I am saying this. you can pinch yourself painlessly twice :). OK since you are done, I can rephrase it. It is very painful to be idle all day. So better enjoy the busy schedule you have and appreciate it. Next time I meet you neither of us will say - " I am sick of my hectic schedule". Done? Can you believe I got jealous of people slogging out at my office? I did :) Of all those people running up and down buying grocery, paying bills, cleaning house and on the lighter side playing badminton. It is not fun at all to lie down for hours. You may wish for it when you get up after a 5 hour sleep but I bet your wish will exponentially decrease and be zero beyond 15 hours may be.
Not to forget the cribbing I did last time at the office restaurant. After having plain curd rice for 7 days I feel like kissing the hands of the guy who sells the combo meal at office. [Caution: Dont take it in the literal sense! ]


5. Identify your friends ! Soon.

Testing times they call it. I think it is called so because such times are the ones which conduct a free " No fee " test for all your friends and hand out the results. You can get a filtered list of friends who care for you and for whom you matter. You need not wait till Chicken pox for this. Any kutti testing time is also fine :). Identify those gems and treasure them without ever forgetting that they have passed the test.


I think five should be enough. I am grateful to you for reading till here. So for all the beautiful people who got the patience to endure till the fifth point from the first point, here is an offer. You can read one more personal realization :)


6. I love coffee! I missed you :)

Thats all from me now. See you. Buh Bye!

*Disclaimer : Opinions expressed in this blog are purely personal and are not chargeable under law according to the fundamental right of freedom of expression

Resolution to Realization!

Late to Bed, Early to Rise, Long travel and hours of staring at the flat screen monitors is what describes the lifestyle of the IT employees. So what do I do to stay away from high cholesterol and diabetes in my old age? I don’t have enough time to exercise or to go to a gym." Use stairs and avoid lift" is what my friend told me. I made this my New Year resolution. After all it is only 2 floors I thought. As usual when I went to the staircase with bubbling enthusiasm this morning, I saw a queue. "Did all the people in the building make the resolution?" I thought. I got reminded of hospitals which make patients wait endlessly as a strategy to increase the revenue by worsening their health during the wait. Government offices which make people go through 10 different queues to hand over a card that is not even 10 inches long. Long Queues in front of temples – Thayaar on Tuesday and Friday, Shani Mahatma and Hanuman on Saturday, Raghavendra on Thursday. Why don’t people go and see these temples on other days? God is available all the days but people wish to see only on the so called ASSIGNED days! Then the whole purpose is gone. You are more worried about who is barging into your queue than God you want to see or the prayers you wish to offer! After a brief travel in my thought world I increased my height by standing on my toes get a peek into the problem of the day. I could see thousands of A4 sheets forming a carpet on the staircase between the ground floor and the first floor.

Probably the guy who was carrying the same in a carton could not find a place in the lift of the decent managers of Multinationals and to add to that his bad luck- the smaller lift designated to such backbone workers was under maintenance. Could he have waited till that got sorted? Of course "NO". Would it not create havoc in the MNCs if there were no sheets to take print outs of the e-tickets, Bank account statements and last one – some work related docs which people in vain plan to read while traveling? So he decided to carry it up using the staircase for one day because his life style does not need resolutions like mine. He missed his breakfast hurrying to work and when his strained muscles failed to support him further, gravity took over.

So what was happening now? He is picking it up probably 20 or 30 at a time, forming bundles of hundred and placing them back in the carton. What are the people in the queue doing? They are watching him do it and waiting for it to get done so that they cane move up the stairs. Some at the bottom decided to break the resolution for the day. Some at the top could not help but give in to the steely resolution of the people behind them in the queue. The speed at which the worker was picking up the sheets can be approximated as 5 seconds for picking up 30 which makes 15-17 seconds to reach hundred and then 4 to 5 seconds to bundle it and place in the carton. So for around 3000 sheets he was carrying it would take 600 seconds! That is 10 minutes. May be the people watching all this did not do this elaborate calculation. It would have been much faster if at least two more people in the queue had lent a helping hand. What we need here is not probably Maths, we need to be human to understand it. All of us were born as naked babies in a hospital or a house. The difference could be the hospital bill or the house furnishing. But are we not equal as God’s creation? Is it ego that stops one from going ahead and doing some work that is meant to be done by a Level 5 worker? Would one not have jumped and grabbed an opportunity to do something that someone two levels higher does? In my view a person who can do his work as well as those of ones lower than him in hierarchy with pride has a much better caliber than the one who sits at the top and claims that he has the right to order because he has the capability to handle the job at any level.

I go ahead and make my way 10 steps through the queue. This is the only place where I was not stopped from barging into a queue. I start picking up the papers and bundling them and I realize my speed is much lower than the one who did not have his breakfast. My 50 Rupees breakfast or the IIT brand mind did not help me here. Still I was happy I did it up to my ability. My intention to break the ice failed. All I got even after that was a couple of quizzical looks and a set of people who were busier on their cell phones not to notice it!

Lessons and some beautiful lines from "Five People You Meet In Heaven"

• "All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it tat time."
• You will start believing this if you read the book during the same time as watching "JAB we MET" just like me. I think something has to end for something else to begin. Even when life ends the life at heaven begins is what is told here.
• "All human lives are well connected. NO story sits by itself. Sometimes stories meet at corners and sometimes they cover one another completely like stones beneath a river."
• "Death does not just take someone. It also misses someone else, and in the small distinction between being taken and missed, lives are changed. This is why we are drawn to babies, and to funerals."
• "Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know."
• "No life is a waste. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone."
• Well something prevents me from agreeing to this wholeheartedly.
• "Over the centuries, courage has been confused with picking up arms and cowardice confused with laying them down."
  
• I totally agree with this. I think real courage is in facing day to day small battles of life without losing heart. Courage is to take up responsibility when you not taking it wont be noticed. Courage is to tell the truth when you know it will harm your reputation. Courage is to make a promise and be committed to it than not making a promise at all.
• "He felt as if a string had just shot from his heart and looped around her shoulders, pulling her close, making her his. He loved her more in that moment than he thought he ever could love anyone."
  
• I think every person should be lucky to experience that one moment in life.
• "Sacrifice is a part of life and not something to be regretted. Sometimes when you are sacrificing something precious, you are not really losing it. You are just passing it on to someone else."
• "We move through places every day that would never have been if not for the people who came before us."
  
• Fills me with a sense of gratitude for those who have contributed in small or large ways for where I am today.
• "Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks a person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves."
• "Love, like rain , can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive."
• "Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, thats all. You cant see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when these senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurure it. You hold it. You dance with it."
  
• Love is something that makes the lives of human beings alive.
  

Happiness in Life

Every person has a value and belief system which he or she follows. That is what is responsible for the way one behaves, thinks, responds and lives life. It is nice to pen down the philosophy I wish to follow in life.

Life is what happens to us when we are busy making other plans. Life is to live , to be happy. Being happy is the continuous and ultimate objective of life based on which we optimise our situations. There is no want in life as such. Decide to be happy and ur belief and confidence that you can be happy will make it a fact. Dont let anything to affect you in life. Be untouched by any external influence like a lotus leaf in a pond and maintain the internal state of happines. It is independent of what you have and what u dont have...who is there with u and who is not....what worked in ur favour and what did not....Happiness is just a mental state unaffected by all these factors. All that matters is that unshakeable decision to be happy whatever happens in life. The day you associate happiness with people close to u...with ur possessions and ur environment u r dependent on them. U may love people, care for them but ur happiness is independent of it. Everything in life is a bonus because u did not have anything when u came. When u look at everything good that happens in ur life as a bonus u wont go to a negative state when it is taken away from u...Accept what life gives u and be contented with it. Believe that whatever happens happens for the good. If not anything it has given u an experience. Enjoy the moments for the experience they give and dont brood over their absence. U can be happy irrespective of the occurences in ur life. Life is always lived above x axis because we started only from zero. People come and go, successes and failures are bound to occur but nothing in life should affect you. Life is never unfair to anyone. Nothing is under ur control. There is one supreme power which is making all the people play their roles and watching one nice show. Anything can happen the very next moment and so dont lose even a single opportunity to make urselves more happy. There is nothing wrong in beng happy. Ultimately what u should fear is only ur conscience.

Conscience is one good friend which gives u the same answer to a question how many ever years down the line u ask...Listen to ur conscience. Be clear in ur thoughts...There is no problem that is not surmountable. No problem can take away ur happiness from u if u decide to be happy whatever the case may be. Nothing in life is more important than life itself... Everthing about life can be summed up in three words---It goes on. We often start working towards wrong goals...we are always getting prepared to live but never living. Start now...Live a life...be happy... I think everything has been figured out except how to live....Only if u believe that life is worth living ....and it is worth being happy will u create the fact....

Accept people for what they are...Never categorise their qualities into good or bad....Understanding that a quality exists in a person is more than enough to be a good friend to him....At the end of the day in any relationship what matters the most is understanding and trust...Trust that the person will not act against his or her own conscience. Understanding and accepting the person for what is true. Doing such a thing will clear ur mind of all the cribs...all the ill feelings and make u a happier person.....

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose to be happy. Problems are bound to come because without them life wont be interesting. They are only there to make u stronger and not get bogged down. Ultimately one thing is true, whatever happens life is not going to stop there. We never know what twists and turns are yet to come. If u want god to laugh tell him ur future plans. You can hope for something but never expect something to happen. When u dont have expectations life is a jolly ride becuse everything that comes ur way excites u. U never know what the purpose of an event is unless it happens. So accept whatever comes ur way because u dont know how it is good for u...May be better than what u would have wished for..... The central dogma in life is

Decision---->acceptance-----> Happiness

Life is beautiful in its own way...All it takes is an open mind to observe and enjoy the beauty of life.

Life as a teacher

Everyday we realise certain things as life is a persistent and continuous teacher....The classes of life are more ruthless than any dean or academic administration of a institution because there are no holidays for lessons of life....This blog is just like writing notes for todays lesson.....

Human psychology has emerged now as a stream of study for people dreaming of becomming " doctors "....both in the real sense of medical doctors and also pseudo doctors who earn a phD....But I guess psychology is not something that is taught only in educational institutions....we dont get exposed to psychology for the first time in the class room like we do probably to Newtons laws....It is something that is communicated without a medium....u grow up with parents and siblings and without verbal exchange u can easily make out what is running in their mind.....No one teaches us how to do that....It is just like how babies know to drink mother's milk without any training.....

Sometimes some people are very sensitive and sharp for whom the others' thought process seems pretty transparent....This may make them good psychologists...but if thats not their proffesion, it is a bane in disguise of virtue....Thats because there is lot of hypocrisy in this worls......countless number of liars and pretenders....If u r a dumb believer of what people have to tell u....there is no disturbance...because what people usually tell u is more likely to be sweet, polite and atleast sounds favourable....But if there was some x ray machine that could decode the thoughts in their mind all that is said above may be disproved....So if u have the ability to somehow feel what the person is thinking or what his intentions are instead of what ur ears r hearing...U will face a lot of disappointment.....

For example lets take a hypothetical situation where u r in some serious crisis and in need of some money...U approach the person whom u consider to be ur very close friend and ask for help....If u r insensitive to invisible thought waves u will probably believe the reason that ur friend politely gives...and the disappointment of not getting the money will be covered up by the care that ur friend shows using wonderful words ....But if u r sharp to know what is going on in ur friends mind while he is saying those things....U r doomed to double disappointment....

So it is better to move on with life without thinking about the mental chaos of other people.....and better be happy with the flowery descriptions that cover up thorny intentions....In both cases ur practical situation will be same but mentally u will be obviating some extra disturbances....

To be happy one needs to learn to let go of many things....Nobody likes to be answerable to someone...and no one is answerable to u....no matter whether u think they r or not....so unless u let go of it....it will linger on only in ur mind and affect u.....Dont remember the bad things that others have done to u....because U cant reverse it and after all u did not do it....and also dont remember the good that u have done to others...because it is already done...moreover it will only make u expect returns in vain and regret the good things which will only devalue the highness of it.......

A Transformation

I feel there is a right time for every activity, a right place for every incident to happen and a right person who has to be responsible for it and all this is predetermined..... At every stage each one of us learns lessons from failures, disappointments and even success for that matter....But it seemed like I only acknowledged the lesson, talked about it but never put it to practice in the situations that came later, the opportunities I had later.....I only realised today how hearing the same things that I knew already can make me feel the urge to do something I had not done....It was like studying in 10th again ( the one u have already studied and passed out) but this time with more enthu, more vigour and more energy.....I felt as if I am given a second opportunity to do something that I ought to do.....( though I never wanted to do it when the first opportunity arrived).....

Rain drops were being sent from heaven along with a message for me.....I stood there feeling the drops touching my forhead, my arms and often making my eyes blink in an attempt to stop them from entering my eyes...later i realised that they were in fact trying to open my eyes!! A voice from miles away speaking a few words that directly went and shook my mind, my thoughts and brought in front of me, my hidden strengths. The voice was penetrating only today of all the days and it said " U have so much in you.....U have the capacity to do wonders....U need to realise ur potential...stop depending on others either for emotional support or for achieving something....U have everything in u to do it urself......U need to realise that u have proven now and again that u have the ability to do well and succeed all on ur own.....Dont question others...u can find the answer urself......U dont need more than a few people who care for u which u already have......U need not be very nice to everyone....u cant impress everyone.....and there is no need....Ur life will be fine and in fact better even without the care of people u crave for.....U need not be afraid of failures...U need to face them with courage and self confidence...That is what will give u a sense of respect for urself...U need to place urself high in ur own opinion.....There is nothing wrong in being a lil selfish to stand high in ur own opinion...U need ot give urself more importance than for others.....U need to have something that u can give ur life for.....a passion...It may be ur favourite field of study..... a favourite art that u wanna pursue....U need to go higher in life and achieve gr8 things....U have everything in u to do all that....Do not compromise ur priorities for the sake of something that is not worth it......U can handle situations in a very mature manner.....if u want to.....it is just that u have never wanted to.....bring some changes in yourself and u will turn into a very fine mature lady.... Start now and look at problems as challenges u can face urself and come out of it and feel a sense of pride and love for urself......Dont let others use u.....U r ur own priced possession...u cant let it go waste....Let go of extreme emotions...dont try to hold on to things and people....The source of inspiration and enthusiasm for u should be internal......It is within u....."

These things written down will keep me on track to be a transformed independent individual......I realise that every individual is a beautiful creation of god....with amazing abilities to go ahead with life happily.....We should not underestimate this ability and let it go waste.....Say to urself everyday....." what is life if not for the challenges that u overcome?...so face it...be strong...I shall win"

My realisations

Human mind is very dynamic and restless; especially mine which refuses to rest even when I am sleeping. It constantly fights to make its presence known through dreams when I am sleeping, imagination of situations and thoughts when I am alone and awake. Even when I am speaking to a person, the mind is working in the background simultaneously which is what is responsible for me having opinions on others. And often due to this continuous activity and generation of what we call thoughts, I travel to places I have never seen, solve problems I have never faced and may not face ever, experience circumstances which may never happen and realise stuff that has changed my attitude towards life, my daily life and behaviour.

The thought process of human mind is responsible for the changes we find in people and appreciate or complain saying " He is not the same now". Many people say that it is due to the environment, society and what not. But the necessary link in all this is the human mind. It is because of this that two people growing in the same house may be drastically different because they do not have the same mind and hence not the same way of absorbing , assimilating and realising things from the abovementioned factors. So i thought it is a good idea to write down all that I think when I am alone observing my surroundings, sitting in front of a comp, walking on the footpath and even when I lie awake on bed at nights waiting to get sleep....So all that follows is an incoherent set of realisations and thoughts without any continuity. The only link is that I have thought about all these things.

The belief in one single sentence can spoil a person's peace of mind and way of life. I have always believed..." Anything can happen anytime"....But it has made me so different from my peers. It makes me think of all the negative possibilities before going ahead with something and think of a way out of every negative possibility even before any problem arrives.... It never happens and all the energy I put in thinking could have been used for something else....I have been branded as a pessimist for doing that...But can a person be positive always....How can u be cautious without thinking of a negative possibility?....People say I am overcautious.....But when I want to do something really well first thing that comes to my mind is what if I fail!...The dreadful scene of me failing in it keeps me on my toes to work for success...Now can I call it as a pessimism leading to optimal results.....I know that there is a problem with what I do...But it is so involuntary....I dont make any efforts to think all this....My mind does not stop just like a clock ticking away.... But my point is why not take precautions against negative when u can?...and this will not happen if u dont have the ability to think of the negative possibilities....so this involuntary activity in mind has both been a friend and a foe to me......It does not allow me to sleep at nights......me lying idle on the bed think of my parents.....their old age ...their health.....my future.....my education....my health.....my friends future......and the list goes on.....and why is that I think of negative possibilities and spoil a peaceful sleep that the other part of the world is enjoying....?

Sometimes some sights can never get erased from ur memories and come back to u again and again ...... For me it is the sight from the corridor when I was walking on it in a hospital and I peeped into the wards......I started thinking....Old age is such a bane.....however strong people r in youth ...how muchever they fight for success and gain fame and name....this body is such a fragile piece fo flesh and bones which deserts the person .....once he is on the bed dependent on people who at that point of time are in his past situation.....life looks like hell.....his own hands and legs dont do what he wants them to.....needles pricking him all over his veins disguised as energy sources for his waning body..... all he does is stare at the activity of nurses and doctors and helplessly wondering whether everone has to experience what he is doing some day...... This sight has stayed in my mind and it shouts and tells me everytime.... Life is not a bed of roses....Most of the people experience what u r seeing.....be happy now that u r in a better situation presently.....but this positive feeling is immediately struck by something very harsh...." there is lot of age difference between u and the people who have been a part of ur life all this while----- ur parents , ur grandparents, ur aunts and uncles.....so u may see them going through these stages.....and that is not very far also"......I feel miserable that time as if I have no reserve of enthu left in me.....I go home and look at my parents and feel better.....I pray whenever I look at them..." Oh god! I dont wanna see all this with people I love so much ".....but is it realistic to pray so? can it happen?

There are always some situations where u realise that how many ever people care for u...how many ever people love u......you have to face it all alone and get out of it.....just like how u came to this world and how u r gonna leave it.....But I have one more belief that if u r brought to the entrance of something u will definitely exit that too....When the balance is maintained at the world level through borth and death.....it will definitely be maintained for a small system like the situation u get into...Given enough time everything falls to place.....If u look back and see all that u have cried for in your past---- may be a doll in nursery, a pencil in nursery, an exam in school, a friend in adolescence......It does not hold any important place in your present life.....U got into a problem and u came out of it...u got attached to something and u came out of it....so everything is a phase..... It is like waiting for the milk to curdle so that u can have sweet curd next day....

I sometimes wonder how my mind can oscillate between so many positive and negative thoughts...Is that called balance?....Life would have been good if everyone was open...there was no need to differentiate between what has to be spoken out and what not...who has to be treated formally and who need not be..... I dont know much about animnal society...but i know this thing for sure that there life is far less complicated.....All the complications that arise in our lives is just paying compensation for the intelligence that we humans have been endowed with.....No man is free...there is always something that holds him back......no person would have done everything that he wanted to.....but people who call themselves free would have just transferred the restrictions to their own minds and say that they are actually acting according to their own rules....the transition time is not accounted for.....

Love is a beautiful feeling but it is problematic when two people love each other too much also.....Issues of possesiveness, personal space creep in......or they think each of them understand othe other so much that there is no need to say anything that they used to...It slowly turns into " used to love each other ".....There is need to express.....it is something like a plant growing.....but do we stop watering a plant just because it has grown fully....?

These discrete thoughts shall continue......and spread to social, psychological and other fields in future posts......I shall stop it here now.....

The touch of gratitude

A bank is a place where money flows in and out, customers come and go but occasionally some customers tend to develop good rapport with the officials in the bank and one such event lays the foundation to the story I am going to narrate. It is important to mention here that my father was a bank official who gradually started speaking to a customer who came to the bank every month to collect a $100 check. On one of my periodic mischievous ventures to the bank to do role play as the manager in his absence, I got an opportunity to listen to that customer who made me embody gratitude as the basic plus point in my character just by narrating his personal experience in a laconic way. And here begins his experience which is translated into a story as narrated by him….

"Seeing an old man who waits for the Government pension every month end coming to the bank to collect $ 100 check without fail, I am sure you have assumed that my son staying abroad and is sending it to me as it is considered a son’s duty to take care of his parents. But let me tell you, I don’t have children. But the story of this $100 check dates back to 1975 when I was still working as a Government clerk. I had gone to a post office to send a telegram to my sister when I saw a charming young boy at the entrance badly searching for something and I could make out from his facial expression that it was nothing more than a wild goose chase. But I don’t usually approach anyone and delve into their personal matters and therefore I carried on with my work. It is unbelievable that out of around 50 people moving here and there in the big post office that boy chose to come to me. I don’t look that social and approachable, do I? He came to me and said "Excuse me, sir". The voice was anxious and apprehensive, he seemed completely demented. I gestured vaguely that I was ready to listen to him as it is human to do so when a person seems to be in trouble. He continued speaking with his hands trembling in nervousness. It was making me believe that he had a genuine problem. He said, "Sir, My name is Ramu and I have just completed my B tech and I wish go abroad for my higher studies. I have to send the application today so that it reaches before the last date. I had 20 Rs in my wallet which I lost on the way. As it is closing time now, I will not be able to get the money before the time. I am really in a very helpless situation. Can you please lend me Rs 15? I shall definitely return it to you if you give me your address"

I am a skeptical person and don’t believe things easily and as the world is getting worse everyday I find it hard to trust anyone. Fifteen rupees was not a negligible amount at that time. Yet I thought for a minute. As the time was running out I decided that Rs 15 can be earned by me easily; if it is helping someone it is good to spend for such a cause and even if this guy is lying to me, it is fine as it is not a very big amount for an earning man. So I took out Rs15 from my pocket and handed it over to him. His eyes reflected happiness, unlimited joy, gratitude and hope. For that one moment I felt so good about myself for bringing happiness into someone’s life. And after that he pestered me to give my address to him and I gave it to him hesitantly. Later I walked out even without being vigilant to check whether the money was used for the purpose he mentioned.

Neither the amount nor the duration of the incident was remarkable for me to give persistent thought to it and I happily forgot about it. I remember to have doubted the genuineness of that guy a couple of times when I did not get that Rs 15 back. The incident was so evanescent that it did not occur to me even when I received an air mail about two and a half years later. I did not have any clue as to who would have sent it to me. I had no friends or relatives abroad. I opened the envelope eagerly and found a letter in a beautiful handwriting that showed maturity and good organization. I read through very fast at the end of which a tear or two rolled down my cheeks. It was the same boy who was completely erased out of my memory, the same boy whom I had considered insincere on not getting back my money, the same boy who had respected me and worshipped me throughout those two and a half years when he was doing his post graduate studies. He had written to me as soon as he had got a stable job. Believing that he remembered me was far, I could not even accept the fact that he had preserved my address which I had given him that day in the post office on a piece of paper that had very less lifetime left. I realized that he must have written it down in an important diary or a notebook with the intention of thanking me some day as that paper would not have existed so long. The very realization that he intended to be thankful to me touched my heart.

I felt like reading the letter again as I had just glanced through it in a hurry. Those words were so sincere and heartfelt. He had written,

"Sir, I am sorry that I could not return your money for this long as I had to make arrangements to leave after that day and was very busy with it. I am indebted to you throughout my life for the crucial help you did. If it was not for your kindness, I would not have been sitting here in this office in such an honored position today. I know that what you have done to me cannot be redeemed. Still I shall make my effort by being there for you whenever you need for whatever reason. You can count on me in any situation in your life. I am giving my Phone number and address. I don’t know anything about you, except that you are a very kindhearted person. I don’t know about your family, your financial status or your likes and dislikes. I want to do something for you for my satisfaction. If you give me your account number in a bank, I shall send $100 every month to you. Please don’t think that I am degrading you by sending money. I have a lot of respect for you. You can think of me as the small squirrel that did its share of work in the mega task of building a bridge for Rama in the Ramayana. It is just a small way of expressing my gratitude from miles away. If you agree to this please let me know.

Yours sincerely

Ram

After reading this letter I wiped my tears with a smile. I got an assurance that being childless is not a disadvantage as long as such people still exist in this world. And now you have guessed that it is the same person who sends me $100 cheque every month. The value of dollar may go up and down, but the value that I hold in his heart shall always remain the same. I am proud of myself for changing the turn of someone’s life by my small action and I am sure he too likes himself for being a grateful person. Such small things really make you feel good about yourself as well as others."

I listened to him with astonishment and I remember that I hardly blinked my eye. His story was really an eye-opener for me. And can you believe it? I have a small diary in which I have written the names of all those people whose little acts of kindness have contributed in changing the course of my life significantly. It gives me a sense of well being. I realized that day that acts of kindness and gratitude touch heart instantly.