Random Thought #6

Thought: There are no no happy endings in life like movies.There are only happy times or happy periods. (NO! I did not mean what some ads say :D)

Reason: Was thinking philosophically. I swear and not about the ads for girls :D

Explanation: Life goes on with happiness and sadness alternating and the end is death after which there is neither of them.

Random Thought #5

Thought: As babies you wet bed and as adults you wet pillows.

Explanation: Self explanatory if you have experienced !

Friend, U have a problem...

Friend, U have a problem when…..

U touch ur dream, be on cloud nine, thank the heavens and then,

U have to trace back ur path to the point where you dreamt from….

U pray all day long for the happiness of one person and then,

U have no way to know if your prayers are answered…..

U are complimented that u have a beautiful smile and then,

U know ur heart is not smiling…..

U are welcomed with the news of a salary hike and then,

U know u cant spend on what u want…

U are blessed with most wonderful people around u and then,

U know they cannot be with u….

U travel the world flying everywhere and then,

U are desperate to spend that one day at home…

U pray God to forgive u for ur sins and then,

U know u cant forgive urself….

U are young and have years of hope in front of u and then,

U feel ur thoughts are locked in the past….

U are appreciated for truthfulness and honesty and then.

U r expected to be unreal…..

U promise the world to your loved ones and then,

All u have is a place in ur heart for them….

Friend, you have a problem when….

U think of composing a poem and then,

U have all penned down sad thoughts glaring at u….

Random Thought #4

Thought: People can give you piece of mind but peace of mind should come from within.

Reason: Of course I am experienced :D and have collected many such pieces, played jigsaw puzzle and kept them aside now.

Explanation: People may comment on your actions, decisions and your ways but what you do with it , how you make the decision, how you live with it and whether you achieve peace of mind is left to you.

Random thought #3

Thought : Mythology is about interchangeability of species and biological experiments.

Reason: A cafeteria random discussion in office.

Explanation : Random interconversion of humans and the rest of the species.

Poll result

88% of the females prefer standing and taking bath.* So I have proved my mom wrong and myself right. \:D/ Well, did I reveal something I had promised to after knowing the results?

My blog title has lived up to its name. 9 people voted for this poll which my school teacher would have declared as utter nonsense and joblessness.

I thank all the people who voted from the bottom of my stomach. [ I thought I could go deeper:D] I shall keep the jobless polls coming and you keep voting. Lets wait for my mom's next claim.

* I am making a basic assumption that all the people who voted are females. Sorry if there were some males who know their girl friends too well :D. Nothing to be ashamed of. Its good. Thumbs up! I like that spirit.

Business partnering

Now don't tell me of all the websites freely available you found this one to get some business knowledge. (Well, may be at the end of this post you will become an entrepreneur, but thats a different issue )

Introduction:

Shaadi.com - Does that ring a bell on what I am writing about. It would have, considering the fact that it is a very difficult task to find greater "Bulb" than me.

"COM" it is. All of us turn into entrepreneurs when we start dealing with this whole business of matrimony. Do you agree with me? Let us try looking at the business process.

Business Decision:

Is this the appropriate time to start the business ?

Output :

---------> NO ---------> Shut up and study! :D

---------> YES -------->Lets become entrepreneurs :(.



Business process:

Stage 1

Data collection

• Name ( Who cares! May be numerologists will)
• DOB ( Decides if it is an uncle or a friend)
• Family members ( Of course you need to talk business with them!)
• Job and Salary ( Deciding factor for future investments)
• Gotram, Nakshatram and Kundali ( I think all businesses start on a "supposed to be" auspicious day under "supposed to be" auspicious conditions)
• Phone numbers and mail ids ( for initiation of business negotiations)

This can be outsourced to agencies that work only during humanly hours.

Stage 2

Filtering of data

• Min Max bound on DOB for long term business partnering [ Uncles may reach heavenly abode soon! :( ]
  
• Maximization of expected revenues based on job and salary ( I bet the shopping rate of girls needs that!)
• Max bound on number of family members ( Similar to our nations objective - Lower the population, the better! :D Mera Bharath Mahan)
  
• Maximization of points in Kundali matching. [When unknown is an ocean you tend to believe corporation water :)].
  

Stage 3

Contact initiation

The conversation goes something like this.

*BOC*.

Mami/Mama (Ladies first!) no 1 : Is it Mr ***** ? [that was not a bad word. I just bulbed recalling some name. :D It could be a bad word in the later stages. Not during contact initiation].


Mami/Mama no 2 : Yes....

Mami/Mama no 1: I got your contact from something.com/ something services/ some arbit person and I would like to talk regarding an alliance that I propose.


Mami/Mama no 2 : Why don't you email the horoscope and photos? We can talk after that.

*EOC*.


Stage 4

Data transfer through electronic means

Hello,

Attached are the photo, horoscope and biodata of my daughter Goda.D.R (for example).


Regards,

Mami/Mama



Stage 5

Data Analysis by the partnering company

Thats a black box to me. So don't ask!

Stage 6

Response

Let me show you some examples here.

Example 1

Mami/Mama,

We have received the horoscope and the photo. We'll take it up further and get back to you.

Regds,

Mami/Mama


Cycle time ----> infinity

Example 2

Dear Mami/Mama

Very Sorry. We are looking for a girl more than 5.5" height as my son's height is 6.1".

All the best for your daughter.

Thanks and Regards,

**** ( NO disclaimers here)

WT*

OK, We shall analyze this in a later post.

Example 3

Dear Mami/Mama

We are happy to inform you that the horoscopes have matched and we would like to meet your family soon.

Awaiting your response

Mami/Mama


Stage 7

Meeting Conference

Agenda of the conference

• The delicious Upma/Coffee combo table service. [Caution: Buffets are considered more of an insult than informality].
• Formal inquiries
  
• Wide smiles. [Reminds me of Chandler's work laugh]
• Presentation of previous annual results and future forecasts of performance.
• Expectation review
• Arrival at consensus on date of future communication

Stage 8

Future communication

Will tell you how it is when that happens. :D

Stage 9

Sign of contract

Some people call it engagement. You take pics and also flaunt your deal by inviting people who are more bothered about grub than you. So better serve good grub for good publicity.

Stage 10


Start of business and End of business too :)

Exponential variations!

Bad picture quality.... But makes sense!

Side effects of bulbing!

If you are a normal human being then what does bulb mean to you?

"Source of artificial light that works by incandescence"

If you are a biologist?

"Underground vertical shoot that has modified leaves used as food storage organs"

Enough of knowledge transfer from wiki to blogspot. Coming to the point- what would a bulb mean to you if you are from IIT Madras?

"Hmmm.. Ahem... Grr.... Well, it has become so much a part of my language that I cant find the definition in English :D. Let me try. It would be a person like me who cannot grasp obvious things fast which results in late realizations"

Note: That does not tell anything about my grasping power, intelligence or speed. It can be thought of as a side effect of high grasping power, intelligence bla bla bla which leads to such a symptom when all these great attributes take a nap. :) [ Ah ! I love that explanation]

So now I am going to give you an example of side effect of a side effect :D

I got a new Sony Ericson 810i mobile with my bonus. Don't be under the assumption that my bonus= price of the mobile.
Reasons:

1. Bonus amount is supposed to be confidential. Even if you are assuming something please please please forget it! I am not supposed to reveal something here.
2. Mobile prices are very dynamic now a days. That gives me some relief. :) Now I can keep the month of bonus to myself :D in case you are very interested and find out the price of the mobile in that month. OK I hear that. You said something like "What nonsense!". Cool then I happily move on.

I spend some days with earphones adorning my ears all the time. Then I shift to the other functionality. Yes, the camera. I become self obsessed and click away pics to glory. And then comes the time to flaunt all those pics.

Status :" Process completed successfully"

[Before I go to the feedback section, some background required. I am obsessed with one more thing in life. The beautiful emoticons that various IM services provide. I love them and I call all of them smileys irrespective of what they emote. Someone sometime back told me that using emoticons in official conversations is considered as "unprofessional". ]

Feedback: This is where you will have the fun of side effects.


Mr XYZ ( On a professional conversation) : So when do we get to discuss the next steps?


Miss Goda ( In not so professional mood) : Let us think together and discuss the same on monday face to face :)


Mr XYZ : Ok That sounds good.


Mr XYZ again ( On shifting to a not so professional conversation which I bulbed to notice!) : Your display pic looks good. BTW > you need not put smileys.


Miss Goda ( Bulbing) : Oh I am sorry. You dont like smileys? ( Cursing herself for performing an unprofessional act!)


Mr XYZ ( Giving up on her heights of bulbing and the forcing situation to explain ): I meant your display pic itself is like a smiley.

Miss Goda ( Realizing that she bulbed) : Oh Thanks. [ Subconsciously :-|]


Ok Ok. Had a loud hearty laugh? Fine. It happens. Especially when you are not used to getting frequent compliments. :D

The side effect of it all is you feel "Oh shit!" even after getting a compliment.

Titleless- for suspense

Warning : Don't read this post if you are not in a mood for some dose of sentiment. I wont feel bad :). Quite Possible if you are in India and you watch movies.

Why am I writing it? Because my father asked me to. You may give me a Colon O [:O] look after reading it. So don't stuff anything now lest it falls out of your mouth.

1. You forget to think what you are getting or what you are spending when you find out what makes that person happy.
2. Your blood boils when you hear anybody speak ill of that person or hurt that person.
3. You are filled with tears when you think of a day when that person is not going to be with you and you dread that day.
   
4. Any kind of fight, you end up feeling you are at fault and you try to make up and probably tell "Sorry".
5. You get concerned when that person's health is screwed up and you put efforts to make him/her the healthiest person on earth ( may be in vain, but you do).
6. You feel prouder than for your own achievement when he/she is appreciated.
7. This or this if remotely related to the person can make you miss him/her in absence.Well, if you are wondering what I am trying to say, you could take it as "top to bottom". ( Disclaimer* - I am not endorsing anything)
   
8. You don't feel like cribbing about the person even in the warashht situations to anyone. So any opposition you have just stays internal and you suffer.

:O . Hmm I expected it. Basically my father wanted to know what is all this fuss about love! And of course, it is not only for a romantic relationship. He wanted me to write on general Love I perceive. I guess the points hold good for anyone - your dad mom hubby wiffy ( new term coined for wife).

Going by the popular perception that senti stuff are boring to read, if you did not like this and still ended up reaching this point, well it does not matter. You can come back for my next post and check out because I am not a consistent person. Who knows! next post may be better.

See ya... I am calling my father to have a look now.

Koi Nahi Mila

Random Thought #2

Thought : You should marry when you get pimples to marry off children when you get wrinkles.

Explanation: Not required

Reason : Tried to give a thought to mother's advice. :D

Proofless!

As we grow up we have to face the Government offices again and again to escape identity crisis. It all goes in a circle. You need an address proof to get a passport and instructions read - You can submit your DL, Ration card, Voter's ID . To get a DL you need an address proof again which says- You can submit Passport,Ration card and Voter's ID and I am sure you don't want me to repeat it for the Voter's ID.( Why such a craze for address proof in a country where many are homeless ?)

*Sigh* My family does not have a ration card and I am caught in this vicious circle not knowing where to start!

I started off with a Bank Passbook ( Thanks to my father who told it can be used) and can you believe it? I still do the rotations and revolutions in various Government offices like planet earth with the same passbook :(.

I have this famous track record of never getting the work done the first time at any Govt office. I am sure it is not a great record because there will be thousands like me ( Forgot the greater numbers taught at school:D).

1. Passport- the file goes missing and delivery of the passport is delayed by 2 months!I get it for my hostel address where I live only for an year and after that again I am address proofless!
   
2. Driving License-I fail the LL test when I go personally :( but pass the DL test directly second time when I go through a driving agency. Again for a temporary address I don't live in now :(.
   
3. Voter's ID- Power cut when my photo has to be taken and on another day I get a Voter's ID with the wrong address ( I am destined not to have an address proof) which needs to be corrected in the second round where my photo will be taken again. Aah I feel like a model :D.
4. PAN card- For some strange reason they don't print address on the card :(.
   

God gave me a beautiful home, but I need to keep proving to everyone :(. I would like to thank Ammembal Subbarao Pai. Wondering who that is? He is the founder of Canara Bank in which I have the account that has been with me through all these ups and downs.

Random thought #1

Thought : Pleasure of sex is greater than pain of delivery in magnitude.


Explanation: People go for more than one child. May be it is because pleasure is for two and pain for one :-?



Reason : Watched a program on National Geography today.

Mother's day

Second Sunday of May is the day to honor all the mother's in the world. Thats today! Wow. I did not remember it till I got my brush in the hand to clean up my teeth today. I got out of slumber suddenly and the bulb lit up.

I immediately rushed through rest of the process and went up to my mother and tried to be cute saying -"Happy Mother's day, Mummy" and then I could see tears of happiness in her eyes and it got all mushy. She hugged me tight and kissed me [:-*]. Damn! My teacher told me in school I should stop day dreaming. Well, all those things in Italics was my day dream. She said - " Stop calling me Mummy. It means dead-body!" [:O]

Ok now I said "Happy Mother's day Amma" in our own sweet native language and asked her
-" So what do you want for Mother's day? Shall I buy you a new mobile?" OK, may be my dream would come true now[:)] She said
-" Why cant you show all this love daily? Should someone somewhere in the world declare publicly when you should love your mom?"

That makes sense. I have learnt a lesson today.

There is no special day to say "I love you" and express it. Do it everyday like you brush your teeth. And the result would be great - A heartfelt Colgate smile [:D]

(Wait a sec! Was that Pepsodent? I never observe it you know. I am always sleepy when I brush and I don't buy stuff for home. Me the Lazy bum!)

Thanksgiving

OK I hear that and I agree that it is not October in Canada or November in US . Come on! We are in India! [You can see the "d" because of my favorite pink background :)]. That does not mean I can celebrate it in May. Moreover I am a pure vegetarian and hence

" No Turkey Business"

Then next question - " Why this post?" and the answer is " Generally" :D

Now that we are set for Thanksgiving let me start by making it clear that here " I am the post creator and hence I will be giving away all the thanks to God". You can do it after reading the whole thing. ( if u feel like)

I shall start with the highest intensity of Thanksgiving and go down the lane so that when u finish reading you'll feel light again like you are doing now.


Scene 1: Physiotherapy centre

I shall start of saying "Thanks" to you for raising those eyebrows wondering if something is wrong with me. Chill! I am fine. I had been there with mom for her treatment. I also got to meet this 25 year old fair and beautiful ( they don't go together always) girl waiting for treatment. My first blame was towards the long sitting hours in AC offices which could screw up your backbone. But I soon realized that was not the reason why she was here. She was a victim of "Muscular dystrophy" . Yes I too remembered Vidya Balan from Guru. But here there was no Madhavan to love her and take care. Her parents though very rich never found peace of mind because of this. She cant sit straight and her spinal cord is totally useless now. She always needs help for the basic things we do with ease like urinating. Being a girl I tried to imagine what she would do during those days which are advertised as " way to freedom" by Shhhh ( Whisper - if you did not catch the euphemism).

I don't dare to describe her problems any further. It is very depressing.

I thank GOD for giving me an intact spinal cord !!


Scene 2: A road on the way to office

I am running late to office. You may ask me how is it possible in the era of Fle?i timings ( that ? is x which became too fle?ible). Well, it all depends on how your teammates are -early birds or late lathiefs.
On the way I see a house ( I am not sure if I can call it a house because all it had were three walls - two of bricks and one of mud and a roof of dried up coconut leaves). Immediately my mind thinks of the time when Bangalore was flooded due to imbalances in nature created by man. It should have been terrible! What are they doing? Brushing teeth with some coal and bathing in dirty water? Are they cleaning themselves up or making themselves dirty! Should I mention how they would eat?
God! How could I crib about the hefty salary I am paid?

I thank GOD for making me capable of meeting the basic necessities of food, house and hygiene :)

Scene 3 : Diagnostic center

Ok Ok. Again nothing wrong with me. Its my mom again. She had to go through a blood test. Now it is not about any of the patients there. Let us think "Out of the Dabba" ( I hear it too often now a days). It is about the people who conduct those tests in the lab. I talk to a person to find out his " job profile". He comes at 7 am in the morning traveling 10 km to this center and he is welcomed by whole lot of SHIT. Yes, I mean it in the literal sense. He has to examine hundreds of different stool samples and he does it the whole day. So he gets to have his lunch break, evening tea everything in between. I think how could anyone aspire for or choose such a career and within seconds my "SANE" head bangs me on my head ( outer surface) and says " Stupid! Do you think he would if he had the freedom to do anything better?" Roti, makan, kapada ke liye kuch bhi karna padtha hai. Ab to aadat pad gayi hogi.

I thank God for giving me a job that I enjoy ( I may not express it always !) and can do sitting at home or in an AC room.


I don't have a favorite number. So I don't stick to the same number of points. You need not expect 5 because of my previous blog or 4 because of the previous previous .. n times blog! There is always suspense [:D]. I decide to stop with three scenes :)

Now that I am done, you can start your Thanksgiving.

"Happy Thanksgiving "

Only Love is Real

Wondering how I got romantic after Chicken Pox? No, it is not a side effect of the antivirals I took. But I can say it is a consequence of Chicken Pox because how else on earth could I get so much time to read this book titled "Only Love is Real"? I swear even I had not heard of it before. :) It was not all that great that I talk about it in a post. But there were some lines which can switch on some romantic switches in you. So without wasting time I am going to copy those lines here.

1. Destiny dictates meeting of soulmates. We will meet them. But what we decide to do after meeting falls in the province of choice or freewill.A wrong choice or a missed chance can lead to incredible loneliness and suffering. A right choice, an opportunity realized can bring us profound bliss and happiness.

Not so romantic is n't it? May be I can call it a foundation stone :)

2. Soul recognition may be immediate. A sudden feeling of familiarity of knowing this person at depths far beyond what the conscious mind could know. At depths usually reserved for intimate family members. Intuitively knowing what to say, how they will react. A feeling of safety and a trust far greater than could be earned in one day or one week or one month.

I don't seem to be moving ahead from foundation :(

3. Passion in a relationship cannot be artificially created. There can be respect, and there can be compassion, but the chemistry has to be there from the start.

Hmm.. Started talking about Chemistry haan :)

4. It is delusional to believe that this passion, this soul recognition and attraction will be easily found again with one more person. You do not run into such a soulmate everyday, perhaps only once in a lifetime. Listen to your heart, to your own intuitive wisdom when making important decisions, especially when deciding about a gift of destiny, such as a soulmate. If you rely exclusively on the advice of others you may make terrible mistakes. Your heart knows what you need.Your heart will find it inconceivable that you will not be together.

Hmm.. some dose of Hindi movie dialogues :)

5. When your intuitions, your gut feelings, your spiritual heart all know beyond any doubt, do not be swayed by fear based arguments of others. Sometimes meaning well and sometimes not, they might lead you far astray from your joy.


May be.....

At the end of it, it was not all that romantic :(
I don't know why I felt so while reading the book.

Chicken Pox for the Soul

Ladies and Gentlemen! I am back like a Phoenix after staying away from BLOGSPOT for some time now. There is a small difference though. :) Phoenix comes back from ashes but I am back from the crusts of Chicken Pox however gross that may sound. It is said " Truth is always bitter " but it can be gross too sometimes you see. Since I am back I would like to start the resurrected [Seems like GRE prep is helping :)] blog with a bulleted list of things that Chicken pox taught me in life. Sounds interesting? If not you can stop reading here and move on to an alternate tab in your firefox browser. [ If you are not one of those outdated IE fans :) *]

1. Things take their own time baby! Patience!

"Ah this is chicken pox". The Doctor said with an air of confidence as soon as he saw the blisters on my hand. " No need to worry. Rest of the blisters will come up in another 5 days and then crust and fall. You don't have to do anything except taking some antivirals. You better don't do anything. If you try to scratch, break the water bubble or pull the crust, it might leave a scar!" Does not that sound terrifying for an Indian girl yet to be married ? :"> [ If you did not get what that is, it is an emoticon showing me blush ]
So there started my week of idleness and vettiness personified making me arrive at this macro theory about life. You will have to wait for the dark clouds of problems you feel helpless about to move away. No use trying to meddle with them and turning them into a permanent worry. Just be calm and wait for them to pass on. As someone said - " This too will pass". All problems are like blisters of chicken pox which appear and then go away. You just have to wait with patience. I bet you did not like the comparison. But you know you cant help it if you are still reading it. This too shall pass :D because we move to the next point.

2. Keep it short!

That was not for my blog. No way! I am not keeping this post short. May be next time! The point I am trying to make here is it is very common for people to shoot a formal question to you when they call you or meet you. " How are you ? " if they do not know you are unwell and " How are you feeling now? " if they already know it. Poor souls. What else can you expect them to ask? But do you really think they are interested in your details of experience of illness ( Chicken pox in this case) ? I bet for a big "NO". So keep it short and learn to say " I am feeling better". That would make both of you comfortable. You would not want someone to hang up or get out and think -" Why the hell did I ask?", would you?
* This rule applies to all kinds of illness that affect human species

3. Your Share is yours!

Wondering what this means? If you are, my intention of writing the title in a cryptic way ( if you can call it so ) is successful :). If not, OK lets move on.
How many ever people you have surrounding you, helping you out, running up and down to get things done for you, Baby! it is real/cruel world. You must go through your share of pain. You cant give it away and there is no alternative. I am not preaching about KARMA here. Hmm May be something like that. Stating this principle at a macro level would look something like this - " YOU CANT ESCAPE WHAT YOU ARE BOUND TO GO THROUGH. THERE IS NO LUCKY BUSINESS".

4. Stop cribbing !

Yes, I am saying this. you can pinch yourself painlessly twice :). OK since you are done, I can rephrase it. It is very painful to be idle all day. So better enjoy the busy schedule you have and appreciate it. Next time I meet you neither of us will say - " I am sick of my hectic schedule". Done? Can you believe I got jealous of people slogging out at my office? I did :) Of all those people running up and down buying grocery, paying bills, cleaning house and on the lighter side playing badminton. It is not fun at all to lie down for hours. You may wish for it when you get up after a 5 hour sleep but I bet your wish will exponentially decrease and be zero beyond 15 hours may be.
Not to forget the cribbing I did last time at the office restaurant. After having plain curd rice for 7 days I feel like kissing the hands of the guy who sells the combo meal at office. [Caution: Dont take it in the literal sense! ]


5. Identify your friends ! Soon.

Testing times they call it. I think it is called so because such times are the ones which conduct a free " No fee " test for all your friends and hand out the results. You can get a filtered list of friends who care for you and for whom you matter. You need not wait till Chicken pox for this. Any kutti testing time is also fine :). Identify those gems and treasure them without ever forgetting that they have passed the test.


I think five should be enough. I am grateful to you for reading till here. So for all the beautiful people who got the patience to endure till the fifth point from the first point, here is an offer. You can read one more personal realization :)


6. I love coffee! I missed you :)

Thats all from me now. See you. Buh Bye!

*Disclaimer : Opinions expressed in this blog are purely personal and are not chargeable under law according to the fundamental right of freedom of expression

Resolution to Realization!

Late to Bed, Early to Rise, Long travel and hours of staring at the flat screen monitors is what describes the lifestyle of the IT employees. So what do I do to stay away from high cholesterol and diabetes in my old age? I don’t have enough time to exercise or to go to a gym." Use stairs and avoid lift" is what my friend told me. I made this my New Year resolution. After all it is only 2 floors I thought. As usual when I went to the staircase with bubbling enthusiasm this morning, I saw a queue. "Did all the people in the building make the resolution?" I thought. I got reminded of hospitals which make patients wait endlessly as a strategy to increase the revenue by worsening their health during the wait. Government offices which make people go through 10 different queues to hand over a card that is not even 10 inches long. Long Queues in front of temples – Thayaar on Tuesday and Friday, Shani Mahatma and Hanuman on Saturday, Raghavendra on Thursday. Why don’t people go and see these temples on other days? God is available all the days but people wish to see only on the so called ASSIGNED days! Then the whole purpose is gone. You are more worried about who is barging into your queue than God you want to see or the prayers you wish to offer! After a brief travel in my thought world I increased my height by standing on my toes get a peek into the problem of the day. I could see thousands of A4 sheets forming a carpet on the staircase between the ground floor and the first floor.

Probably the guy who was carrying the same in a carton could not find a place in the lift of the decent managers of Multinationals and to add to that his bad luck- the smaller lift designated to such backbone workers was under maintenance. Could he have waited till that got sorted? Of course "NO". Would it not create havoc in the MNCs if there were no sheets to take print outs of the e-tickets, Bank account statements and last one – some work related docs which people in vain plan to read while traveling? So he decided to carry it up using the staircase for one day because his life style does not need resolutions like mine. He missed his breakfast hurrying to work and when his strained muscles failed to support him further, gravity took over.

So what was happening now? He is picking it up probably 20 or 30 at a time, forming bundles of hundred and placing them back in the carton. What are the people in the queue doing? They are watching him do it and waiting for it to get done so that they cane move up the stairs. Some at the bottom decided to break the resolution for the day. Some at the top could not help but give in to the steely resolution of the people behind them in the queue. The speed at which the worker was picking up the sheets can be approximated as 5 seconds for picking up 30 which makes 15-17 seconds to reach hundred and then 4 to 5 seconds to bundle it and place in the carton. So for around 3000 sheets he was carrying it would take 600 seconds! That is 10 minutes. May be the people watching all this did not do this elaborate calculation. It would have been much faster if at least two more people in the queue had lent a helping hand. What we need here is not probably Maths, we need to be human to understand it. All of us were born as naked babies in a hospital or a house. The difference could be the hospital bill or the house furnishing. But are we not equal as God’s creation? Is it ego that stops one from going ahead and doing some work that is meant to be done by a Level 5 worker? Would one not have jumped and grabbed an opportunity to do something that someone two levels higher does? In my view a person who can do his work as well as those of ones lower than him in hierarchy with pride has a much better caliber than the one who sits at the top and claims that he has the right to order because he has the capability to handle the job at any level.

I go ahead and make my way 10 steps through the queue. This is the only place where I was not stopped from barging into a queue. I start picking up the papers and bundling them and I realize my speed is much lower than the one who did not have his breakfast. My 50 Rupees breakfast or the IIT brand mind did not help me here. Still I was happy I did it up to my ability. My intention to break the ice failed. All I got even after that was a couple of quizzical looks and a set of people who were busier on their cell phones not to notice it!

The Evening of Eve

"Black and White" – Rating ** said the newspaper last Sunday. I did not give much thought to either the title of the movie or the rating that day. But today, when I started thinking, I realize it is not only about colors, God’s creation has always struck a balance – whether it is day and night, Birth and Death, Man and Woman. Did I say woman? That brings me to what I have been thinking about the whole day, nearly one week after the "International Woman’s day". Both men and women are God’s creation. It is a well known fact that they are different, their needs are different, and their roles are different. Where does the problem lie? The problem arises when we as individuals fail to take cognizance of our as well as others’ abilities and limitations. Why do I see so many women’s forum and councils coming up while I hear of men’s council only regarding sports? We all know that March 8th is International Women’s day. How many of us know that the first Saturday of November is International men’s day? Probably very few. What is the need to have an international day for women? When I posed this question to different women the answers I got were – "Because the rest of the 364 days are men’s days" - "We have been oppressed since ages and we need to rise now"-"Men have April 1st and we have March 8th". What were these people trying to communicate? This is precisely what I wanted to find out by attending a Women’s forum meeting devoting 4 hours of my time. If I could learn a lesson or become aware of so called "women-specific" problems, it would be worth it.

I walked in the corridors of a five star hotel searching for the venue of this meeting like I used to search for the train compartment in the last minute during my college days. This search was easier because the decibel levels act as indicators of gatherings of women. So here I am amidst women of age ranging from early twenties to early forties. So it was obvious that women specific problems would be a function of age and I got excited looking at the spectrum I was exposed to. This is how the forum meeting started – "Welcome to the gathering FREE OF MEN" and a wave of giggles traveled through the room. My expectations committed suicide jumping down a valley like Hrithik Roshan in Dhoom. That was shown in slow motion at least; here I could hear a THUD sound. "Is this a Women’s forum or an anti-men forum?" I thought and stopped myself thinking that it is too early to jump to conclusions. 15 minutes into the address that the head of the forum gave I started contemplating – "Am I very different from the other members of the fairer sex? Why am I not able to enjoy the *alleged jokes* or *gossips*?" I heaved a sigh of relief when I was assured that there are >1 people who shared parts of my experience. Is this session for bitching about men or development of women? Why do I see common needs of men and women in the agenda for women forum? Leadership skills need to be enhanced in both men and women. Both need mentoring. Both need to do good financial planning. Both need to have good health. By putting these as women-specific agenda, are we not widening the gap? I see more dissociation in the company than development. Are we not repeating the historical mistake by discriminating now in a different way? But whom do I shoot these questions to? After all I am also among those who do not want to take the risk of antagonizing the majority.

What are we trying to address by calling this meeting and inaugurating a forum? The women specific problems I can think of are –

Women have been assigned the job of managing the household and nurturing kids for ages. Now they are taking up an extra job which is perceived as "job" in the real sense by the world. That does not mean they resign their previous job. A woman will have to continue with the old one, probably she can have an assistant which could be her spouse or mother or the legal mother. Extra load means extra problems.

Strangely, maintaining the household has never been considered as a job because it does not have monetary returns. If it was considered as a significant contribution to run a house, we would never call only CEOs as achievers without House wives anywhere in the run for the title. It is human nature to pamper the ego by achieving great things, receiving rewards and recognition. Women are also human beings which is why they also entered the race in the corporate world. Women are taking this up by choice. Due to the extra load they do face more pressure. Bearing a child is one of the important stages in a woman’s life. She definitely more corporate maternity leave to take good care of her health, she needs more time to devote to the baby as a feeding mother, she needs cooperation from the company to take care of the baby till it is on its own. "

I don’t see this in the agenda though everyone talks about it.

Women are different from men physically, biologically and to an extent psychologically. When God did not create the two equal, it does not make much sense to claim equality too. Rather what each individual should be claiming is Opportunity and Rights Commensurate with abilities. Just because Kalpana Chawla went to Space, all women can’t. For that matter, all men cant too. Each individual has a set of unique abilities, talent and limitations. If an individual is not allowed to achieve up to his/her ability it is unjust irrespective of the gender. So what kind of woman rights are we talking about? It is not that all men or bad or all women are good. Men have their own set of problems to deal with. Let us look at the other side of the coin. Being a woman has its own advantages –

A woman can call it a day anytime; she will not be questioned by many. But do men have that luxury? If a man quits his job, he will be labeled IRRESPONSIBLE and WORTHLESS. "He is supposed to earn for the family". Actually if we look at it, it is an initial condition problem of distribution of load. The cart of home needs two M wheels – Maintenance and Money. Long then, job did not mean resting on a ergonomic chair with only two parts of the body working – Brain and the fingers. It meant roaming in the hot sun, lifting loads of weight and sweating it out more than the current day Gym. Commensurate with the physical strength of men and women it was quite logical then to distribute it that way. The Stereotype has just continued till this day though times seem to be changing pretty evidently.

How many times have you as a girl felt relieved or as a guy felt jealous when the Physical training sir gave 2 rounds as punishment to girls and made boys run 10 rounds in school?

How many times have you spent a minute appreciating the variety of choice women have in terms of clothing and accessories? Do the shopping malls have anything more to offer to men other than shirts, T shirts and a pair of trousers? Sadly they had to resort to earrings, chains and pony tails. :(

How often do we talk about the tax exemption or the favors we receive from people from various rungs because of the universal bias towards the eve?
It is just that women have the amazing quality of amplifying the lack more than have. I don’t deny that we have women suffering from dowry deaths, prostitution, and lack of freedom or education in the Indian society. But definitely corporate women forum meetings will not cater to those people.

We will not achieve anything by putting down men or boasting about our strengths. At the end of the day we are going to go back home and have a coffee with a father or a husband. It is wise to understand the composition of the universe and that men and women are like irreplaceable pillars of a building. We as human beings (Does not matter whether it is a man or a woman) should recognize the success rate of working together rather than secluding ourselves and fighting for nebulous rights.

Alas! All I enjoyed was the Vanilla ice cream! :D

Lessons and some beautiful lines from "Five People You Meet In Heaven"

• "All endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it tat time."
• You will start believing this if you read the book during the same time as watching "JAB we MET" just like me. I think something has to end for something else to begin. Even when life ends the life at heaven begins is what is told here.
• "All human lives are well connected. NO story sits by itself. Sometimes stories meet at corners and sometimes they cover one another completely like stones beneath a river."
• "Death does not just take someone. It also misses someone else, and in the small distinction between being taken and missed, lives are changed. This is why we are drawn to babies, and to funerals."
• "Strangers are just family you have yet to come to know."
• "No life is a waste. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone."
• Well something prevents me from agreeing to this wholeheartedly.
• "Over the centuries, courage has been confused with picking up arms and cowardice confused with laying them down."
  
• I totally agree with this. I think real courage is in facing day to day small battles of life without losing heart. Courage is to take up responsibility when you not taking it wont be noticed. Courage is to tell the truth when you know it will harm your reputation. Courage is to make a promise and be committed to it than not making a promise at all.
• "He felt as if a string had just shot from his heart and looped around her shoulders, pulling her close, making her his. He loved her more in that moment than he thought he ever could love anyone."
  
• I think every person should be lucky to experience that one moment in life.
• "Sacrifice is a part of life and not something to be regretted. Sometimes when you are sacrificing something precious, you are not really losing it. You are just passing it on to someone else."
• "We move through places every day that would never have been if not for the people who came before us."
  
• Fills me with a sense of gratitude for those who have contributed in small or large ways for where I am today.
• "Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks a person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves."
• "Love, like rain , can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive."
• "Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, thats all. You cant see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when these senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurure it. You hold it. You dance with it."
  
• Love is something that makes the lives of human beings alive.
  

Astrology

Astrology-"the study of the movements and positions of the sun, moon, planets and stars, and the skill of describing the expected effect that these are believed to have on the character and behavior of humans". This is all Cambridge dictionary told me about it.

Being from a biotech background and working as an Analyst in the corporate world, how-much-ever unconnected the two fields may sound, I have no clue how some celestial bodies floating somewhere in the universe can decide how my mom takes the news of me having a boyfriend or my boss deciding my annual rating or for that matter Shahrukh Khan’s "Om shanti Om" being a hit. I was wondering about this sitting in a room in which patches of the walls tried to take a peek at me from behind the innumerable posters and banners that spoke high of astrology, depicted planets as deities and had tables representing the positions of planets which made me recall my practical notebooks of eleventh grade. I was there for a reason. It is not as strong as the previous sentence may sound. It is because my uncle took me there. :) We were treated as VIPs as my uncle is a long time friend of that astrologer who makes money predicting others lives. This gave me the chance to observe a lot of things based on his interaction with his other customers.

Customer No. 1:

A mid-aged man with a hangdog look complains about his daughter- "I sent her to college thinking she will become an engineer, but she has forced me to leave all my dreams about her and plead the parents of that guy who does not even come close to the imagination I had about the groom I would get for her. The problem is she is elder to him and my daughter has "Mangala Dosha". I don’t know how I could even go and ask them about it". Our "solution-for-all" guru says with a wry smile and know-it-all attitude-"Well, that does not look like a problem to me. Date of birth can always be changed and kundali modified to get rid of problems. In fact, why don’t u get the horoscope of the guy. I can tailor your daughter’s horoscope to that."

Wow, that’s cool. Marriage is reduced do a garment business. If we can change everything in the horoscope, why do we need to match them? These questions of mine may never get answered.

Customer No. 2:

An old man with lines on his forehead that speak about his unmarried daughter gets in with some pieces of paper out of which all or one may end up in the dustbin in the corner of the room after the astro researcher speaks up. "Sir, I have these options in front of me. Can you tell me which of these is the best match?" Not spending more than 5 seconds on each, he says. "Well, I don’t recommend any of them". That man with the same look on his face after paying 20 Rs.

Is this great astrologer so proficient to make that out in 5 seconds? Probably at his age the visual power itself will bring a delay of 10 seconds. Or may be he can make that out and it is just my limitation to suspect it. But how was he sure that those horoscopes were not tailored artificially for someone else? ;)

Customer No. 3:

This time it is a woman who brings the horoscope of her very successful son who has everything but is not getting married and is 35 years old already. She asks –"My son is 35 and is not married yet. "

What is the whole point? You should be handing over the horoscope and be asking that guy to predict the scenario with marriage and not be letting the whole thing out.

Our astro king brushes it off with a bombastic statement –" How is it possible madam? I see that Shani has become asthadipati and is higher to Budha who has been looking at mangala from 4th house."

Does that make even one iota of sense to a layperson? What is he intending to do here?

" He will have to visit a temple which is beyond the hills and the mountains and do a pooja there. I understand that he will be busy with it. Let me suggest something for your good. It can be done by someone like us. All you will have to do is pay us some 5000 bucks. That’s all. That is nothing compared to your son’s future"

Great. I got my answer.

I thought horoscopes describe the way things take their course. So can that be changed by doing what he said. Will Budha stop looking at Mangala? How will that happen unless you change it and reprint it?

Customer No. 4

A guy of my age is here finally. He wants to know about why he is not successful in his career and is burdened by debt.

Burdened by debt at this age itself?

This lead to the same kind of fuzzy description and the conclusion was to make the guy wear a ruby stone ring on his middle finger. "How much would that cost?" he asks wishing as much as he could that it would not be high. "15000. That is fine. It makes you conquer the sun" comes the answer and I see a total eclipse on the guy’s face.

A guy is burdened by debt and you make him drown a little more by making him spend like this. Is this astro king sure that it helps? Will he pay the debt if it does not help? Ah look at his hand. I could see all the precious stones on the earth dancing on his fingers. Does this guy have no problems in his life now that he has conquered all the planets and stars?

The guy is hesitant to go ahead with it when asked if they could call the jeweler there itself. Of course, commissions are an unsaid part of it. After a lot of –"Go ahead" and "Hmm, I need to think", the astro says with the same know-it-all tone –" Your horoscope tells me you are stubborn and you wont listen"

Then why the hell were they trying to suggest or advise?

The guy leaves the room with nothing changing in his life other than the fact that now his pocket was lighter after those ten 10 Rupee notes left his pocket.

After all this I am left alone for a whole day of pondering on many things I see in life. I do believe that there is a power which is the reason for how different lives take their turns, intersect, diverge and converge. But my reservations are about the claims of understanding that power in totality and making a business out of the claim. If someone could conquer the forces that affect our lives, why are they still working for the 100 bucks that the guy gave? If they knew what to do to earn well, why have they not taken over Azim Premji or Narayan Murthy? Given that I have spent only 24 years on this earth, I don’t know what is the absolute truth and may not come to know even after spending 80 years. But that does not stop me from penning down my views and things that make me put my thinking cap on.